January 18, 2013

Some people say “Guns don’t kill people.” Other people say…


THE FAMOUS ANTI-GUN CONTROL SLOGAN:

“Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.”
       The unofficial slogan of the
National Rifle Association 
       Contrary to popular belief, this is not an official NRA slogan, though it has been used by NRA members and other gun rights advocates since at least the 1950s. Ironically, it has also been used as a gun safety slogan. For example, in a May 31, 1959 Associated Press story I found in NewspaperArchive.com, Fred A. Roff Jr., president of the Colt Patent Fire Arms Co., was quoted as saying “Our big concern is to make sure that guns get into the hands of only those who know how to use them. Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.”


EDDIE IZZARD’S COUNTERQUOTE:

“The National Rifle Association says that guns don’t kill people, people do. But I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I think just standing there going ‘BANG!’ — that’s not going to kill too many people, is it?” 
       Eddie Izzard 
       British comedian and actor
       In his HBO comedy special Dress to Kill (1999)


THE FAUX QUOTE ATTRIBUTED TO CHARLTON HESTON:

“It’s not the guns that kill, it’s the maladjusted kids.”
      
Charlton Heston (1924-2008)
       American actor and President of the National Rifle Foundation from 1998 to 2003 
       This quote is attributed to Heston by The Oxford Dictionary of Modern Quotations, but it appears to be a misquote of what he actually said. Here’s how it was reported
in The Denver Post: Asked if the prevalence of guns might have contributed to the shootings last year at Columbine High School, Heston said he had talked to the father of a girl who was killed in the massacre. “He said, ‘I’ll tell you this. This is not about guns; this is about maladjusted kids.’”
       Just for record, Heston also did not say: “Guns don’t kill people. Apes with guns kill people.” (In real life or in the 1968 movie Planet of the Apes.)


THE FAUX CHARLTON HESTON’S QUOTE:

Charlton Heston: (actor Bob Legionaire) “Damn it, George, you just don’t get it! Guns don’t kill people.”
George W. Bush (actor Timothy Bottoms):
“They don’t?”
Heston:
“No! Bullets do! Guns just get ‘em going really, really fast!”
       In the Comedy Channel TV series
That’s My Bush! (2001)


A WHITE PUNDIT’S OPINION:

“Guns don’t kill black people, other blacks do.” 
       David Horowitz 
       Conservative columnist and activist
       In an opinion piece in
Salon magazine, August 16, 1999, about the NAACP’s plans to file an injunctive class-action suit “to force gun manufacturers to distribute their product responsibly.”


A BLACK COMEDIAN’S COUNTERQUOTE:

“You know guns don’t kill people, stupid motherfuckers with guns kill people.”
      
Chris Tucker, playing the character Franklin Hatchett
       In the comedy movie
Money Talks (1997)


ART BUCHWALD’S LOGICAL EXTREME:

“Hydrogen bombs don’t kill people — people kill people. The bomb is for self-protection and it also has a deterrent effect. If somebody knows you have a nuclear weapon in your house, they’re going to think twice about breaking in.”
      
Art Buchwald (1925-2007)
       American humorist 
       In his book
Laid Back in Washington (1983)


AN AMERICAN DAD’S WISDOM:

“Guns don’t kill people. People kill people. Guns defend people against people with smaller guns.”
       Stan Smith (voiced by Seth MacFarlane)
       In an episode of the animated TV series American Dad!


LARRY THE CABLE GUY’S QUIP:

“Guns don’t kill people. Husbands that come home early do.”
      
Larry the Cable Guy  
       One of his quips on the TV series Blue Collar TV 


THE UHF MOVIE QUOTE:

“Gun control is for wimps and commies. Listen, let’s get one thing straight. Guns don’t kill people. I do.”
       Earl Ramsey (played by actor Ivan Green) 
       In a TV news interview scene in “Weird Al” Yankovich’s gonzo comedy movie UHF (1969)

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