You are what you eat, think or know (or were you?)

FAMOUS QUOTE: “You Are What You Eat”        Dr. Victor Hugo Lindlahr (1895-1969)        Pioneering American health food advocate        The title of his 1942 book, which popularized the phrase

CRITTERS COUNTERQUOTE: “YOU ARE WHAT THEY EAT.”        Ad slogan for the movie Critters 3 (1991)         One of Leonardo DiCaprio’s early films

BUDDHA’S VERSION: “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.”        Buddha (c. 563 BCE to 483 BCE)        Indian spiritual teacher        The Dhammapada (c. 300 BCE)

BURKE’S VERSION: “You are what you know.”        James Burke (b. 1936)        British science historian        In his book The Day the Universe Changed (1985)

TABLOID VARIATION: “You are what you were: expert reveals how past lives control everything you do – TODAY!”        Headline from The Weekly World News (Nov. 6, 2001)        The world’s ONLY reliable news source (now online)

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“A House Divided”

FAMOUS BIBILICAL QUOTE: “Every city or house divided against itself shall not stand.”        Jesus        Quoted in the Bible, Matthew 12:25        The inspiration for Abraham Lincoln’s famous quote

STUDENT COUNTERQUOTE: “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.”         A “student blooper”         Quoted by Richard Lederer in The Bride of Anguished English

ANTHROPOLIGIST’S VERSION: “A cultural system divided against itself cannot behave in a rational manner.”        Leslie Alvin White (1900-1975)        American anthropologist        Comment in 1975, quoted by Jack P. Gibbs in Control: Sociology’s Central Notion

GEORGE DIVIDED VARIATION: “You see, right now I have Relationship George. But there is also Independent George...If Relationship George walks through this door, he will kill Independent George. A George divided against itself cannot stand!”         George Costanza (actor Jason Alexander)         In the “Pool Guy” episode of Seinfeld (Season 7, Episode 8, 1995)

More from Richard Lederer and Leslie A. White…

“A House Divided” – the Political Pundits Versions

LINCOLN’S FAMOUS QUOTE: “A house divided against itself cannot stand. I believe this government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free.”        Abraham Lincoln         Speech at the Republican State Convention, June 16, 1858

OBERMANN’S VERSION: “A house divided against itself cannot stand. I believe this government cannot endure, permanently half smart and half stupid.”        Keith Olbermann        Liberal media pundit        Comment on Republican Congressman Joe Wilson yelling "You lie! at President Obama        On MSNBC's Countdown TV show, Sept. 10, 2009

BECK’S ODD VERSION: “Over 50% of the African-American community now believes that the cure of AIDS exists but the Government won’t release it because AIDS kills poor people. That’s frightening. A house divided against itself cannot fail.”        Glenn Beck        Conservative media pundit        On his radio show, March 24, 2008

COLBERT QUIP: “A house divided against itself cannot stand, but it's worth squat in this market anyway.”        Stephen Colbert        The supposedly faux political pundit        On his Colbert Report TV show, Jan. 13, 2009

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It means never having to – say what?

The latest QuoteCounterquote.com video… 

Ryan O'Neal in Love Story (1970)
                      vs.
Vincent Price in The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)
                      vs.
Steven Weber in The Shining (1997)
                      vs.
Klaus Kinski in Buddy Buddy (1981)
                      vs.
Jackie Gleason in The Toy (1982)

You can view this video and more quote humor videos on my YouTube channel.

More movie quote stuff…

“Half the world…”

FAMOUS AUSTEN QUOTE: “One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.”         Jane Austen (1775-1817)        British novelist        Emma (1815)

HOWE’S COUNTERQUOTE: “Half the world does not know how the other half lives, but is trying to find out.”        E.W. Howe (1853-1937)        American journalist and novelist        Quoted in The Concise Columbia Dictionary of Quotations

MR. MOTO’S VERSION: “Half the world spends its time laughing at the other half, and both are fools.”        Actor Peter Lorre as Mr. Moto        In the 1937 film Think Fast, Mr. Moto

JEFFERSON’S VARIATION: “Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercion? To make one half the world fools, and the other half hypocrites.”        Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)         Third President of the United States of America        Notes on the State of Virginia (1787)

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Further reading and viewing…

Blessed are the cheesemakers?

FAMOUS BIBLE QUOTE: “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”        Jesus Christ        In the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5:9

SATIRICAL COUNTERQUOTE: “Ah, blessed are the peacemakers – Colt, Marlin, Winchester, and now Obama, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, brought to you by Alfred Nobel, inventor of dynamite and smokeless gun powder, son of the man who taught the world to mine harbors and shipping channels.”        Newspaper columnist Casey Jones        In his Salt Lake Journal Tribune column, Oct. 16, 2009

SATIRICAL PYTHONQUOTE: GREGORY (having trouble hearing Jesus): “What was that?” MAN: “I think it was ‘Blessed are the cheesemakers.’” MRS. GREGORY: “What’s so special about the cheesemakers?” GREGORY: “Well, obviously, it’s not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.”         The Monty Python movie Life of Brian (1979)        In the Sermon on the Mount scene

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You can lead a horticulture…

FAMOUS DOROTHY PARKER QUOTE: “You can lead a horse to water But you can’t make him drink. You can lead a horticulture But you can’t make her think”        Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)        American writer and critic        At a gathering of the Algonquin Round Table wits        Quoted in You Might as Well Live (1970)

LEATHERNECK COUNTERQUOTE: “They say ‘you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.’ In the Marine Corps, you can make that horse wish to hell he had.”        Marine drill instructor Sgt. Fred Larson        Maxim (c. 1965) quoted on the Leatherneck website

LAUREL COUNTERQUOTE: “You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.”        Stan Laurel (1890-1965)         British comic actor        In the Laurel and Hardy film Brats (1930)

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“The moral equivalent of war”

QUOTE: “What we now need to discover in the social realm is the moral equivalent of war; something heroic that will speak to man as universally as war does, and yet will be as compatible with their spiritual selves as war has proved to be incompatible.”        William James (1842-1910)        American psychologist and philosopher        The Will to Believe (1897)

COUNTERQUOTE: “Remember...how Jimmy Carter asked Americans to respond to a mere rise in the price of crude oil with ‘the moral equivalent of war’? What were we supposed to do, shame the gas attendant to death?”        P.J. O'Rourke (b. 1947)        American journalist, author and political satirist        All the Trouble in the World (1994)

9-11QUOTE: “The bombers of Manhattan represent fascism with an Islamic face, and there's no point in any euphemism about it...Loose talk about chickens coming home to roost is the moral equivalent of the hateful garbage emitted by Falwell and Robertson, and exhibits about the same intellectual content.”        Christopher Hitchens (b. 1949)        British-born American journalist and social critic        Talking about people who tried to justify the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks        In his column in The Nation, Oct. 8, 2001

PARTISANQUOTE: “This is the moral equivalent of an abusive guy who puts his wife in the hospital and then gets mad at the doctors who can’t send her home as soon as they had hoped.”        Howard Dean (b. 1948)        Democratic Party leader        Talking about Republicans who attack President Barack Obama's economic stimulus plan        July 29, 2009, on MSNBC's Countdown show

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History repeats itself again

FAMOUS KARL MARX QUOTE: “History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.”        Karl Marx (1818-1883)        German philosopher and political theorist        Paraphrase of a passage in Marx's 1852 essay, “Eighteenth Brumaire of Louis Bonaparte”

HISTORIAN’S COUNTERQUOTE: “History repeats itself. Historians repeat each other.”        Philip Guedalla (1899-1944)        British historian and biographer        In Supers and Supermen (1920)

GRIMMY’S VERSION: “The History Channel repeats itself.”        The Mother Goose and Grimm comic strip, June 2006        Written and drawn by Mike Peters (b. 1943)

ENIGMATIC BECK VARIATION: “Hollywood people and all these liberals, all these just great thinkers, they don't understand that history repeats itself…They can't recognize themselves that there are only like four movies that have ever been made, and half of them star Gene Hackman and the other half star Bruce Willis.”        Glenn Beck (b. 1964)        Conservative TV and radio talk show host        On his radio show, February 11, 2008

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Hyphenated Americans

TEDDY’S FAMOUS QUOTE: “There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.”        Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919)        American politician and 26th President        Campaign speech in New York City, October 12, 1915

ANOTHER PRESIDENT’S VARIATION: “Any man who carries a hyphen about with him carries a dagger that he is ready to plunge into the vitals of this Republic.”        Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924)        American politician and 28th President        Speech in Pueblo, Colorado, Sept. 25, 1919

OLBERMANN COUNTERQUOTE: “We have been here when President Woodrow Wilson insisted that the Espionage Act was necessary to save American lives, only to watch him use that Act to prosecute 2,000 Americans, especially those he disparaged as ‘Hyphenated Americans,’ most of whom were guilty only of advocating peace in a time of war.”        Keith Olbermann (b. 1959)        Liberal-leaning MSNBC news journalist and author        On his "Countdown" show, Oct . 19, 2006

RUSH’S COUNTER-COUNTERQUOTE: “The country does not want to be segmented...If the Democrat Party is giving us African-Americans, Hispanic-Americans, gay-Americans, homosexual-Americans, lady-Americans, female-Americans, all this hyphenated-American stuff has come from your party because you desire people segmented!”        Rush Limbaugh (b. 1951)        Conservative talk show host and author        On his radio show, March 17, 2008

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Just say NO! NOE! NO-J!

NANCY’S FAMOUS ANTI-DRUG SLOGAN: “Just say no!”        Nancy Reagan (b. 1921)        Wife of President Ronald Reagan        Anti-drug slogan she popularized, starting in 1983

DEMOCRATS’ ANTI-DAN SLOGAN: “JUST SAY NOE”        Slogan on a 1992 campaign button worn by Democrats        Mocking Dan Quayle’s misspelling of “potato” as “potatoe”

STEWART’S ANTI-O.J. VERSION: “Just say NO-J.”        1995 TV ads for Jon Stewart’s Daily Show        Satirizing the public’s fascination with TV coverage of the O.J. Simpson murder trial

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I don't care what they say about me…

QUOTE:

“I don’t care what you say about me, as long as you spell my name right.”
       George M. Cohan (1878-1942)
       American songwriter, playwright and producer
       Attributed comment to a reporter. (Also attributed to other celebrities.)

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COUNTERQUOTE:

“I don’t care as long as they spell my name right on my check.”
       Eric Jerome Dickey (b. 1961)
       American author 
       Quip in his novel Sleeping with Strangers (2007)

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TWAINQUOTE:

“I don’t mind what the opposition say of me, so long as they don’t tell the truth.”
       Mark Twain (1835-1910)
       American author and humorist
       Speech in Hartford, Connecticut, Oct. 26, 1880

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