January 28, 2026
October 29, 2022
“I never promised you a rose garden.”
THE ORIGIN OF THE FAMOUS LINE: “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden” |
THE BADASS MARINE SLOGAN: “We don’t promise you a rose garden.” |
THE BADASS JUDGE VERSION: “Nobody promised them [prison inmates] a rose garden…They have been convicted of crime, and there is nothing in the Constitution which forbids their being penalized as a result of that conviction.” |
|
THE PASSION OF MEL VERSION: “Apparently Mel Gibson did promise his babymama Oksana Grigorieva a rose garden…But totally not in a good way. In the latest round of the seemingly endless parade of embarrassing tape leaks purporting to capture the Passion of the Christ helmsman in full meltdown mode, a new snippet of conversation has emerged, in which Gibson reportedly threatens to bury Grigorieva in the flower bed of his Malibu, California, mansion.” |
THE PRESIDENTIAL VERSION: “I never promised you a rose garden but I guess [Press Secretary] Ron Nessen did. So, I hope you enjoy this new setting and the new format, and I hope I enjoy it, too.” |
THE BIONIC VERSION: Col. Steve Austin (actor Lee Majors): “Now wait a minute, Jaime, you're not going out a torpedo tube. Now you felt the sub, it’s gonna be rough out there.” |
* * * * * * * * * *
Comments? Corrections? Questions? Email me or post them on my Famous Quotations Facebook page.
April 10, 2022
“The shot heard round the world.”
THE ORIGINAL THING HEARD ROUND THE WORLD: “The shot heard round the world.” |
THE SLAP SEEN AROUND THE WORLD: “What bothered me most, after The Slap Seen Around the World, was how the giants of Black Hollywood immediately circled to protect Will Smith...Will anyone famous who stood and applauded Smith after his acceptance speech be asked to explain their actions? Will the Academy or Oscarcast producers explain why they allowed someone to hit a performer — a friend sent me a text joking that Ricky Gervais is lucky he’s not still hosting the Golden Globes — and then collect an award?”
|
THE CELEBRITY “NEWS” VARIATION: “The divorce heard round the world.” |
|
“The brain fart heard round the world.” |
AN OLDER POLITICAL VARIATION: “The blooper heard round the world.” |
* * * * * * * * * *
Comments? Corrections? Questions? Email me or post them on my Famous Quotations Facebook page.
March 20, 2022
“A mind is a terrible thing to waste.”
THE FAMOUS UNCF SLOGAN: “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” |
THE PLUS SIDE OF THE COVID PANDEMIC: “A pandemic is a terrible thing to waste. There’s some good things that have come out of that; we can work remote two or three days a week and we can have flexible schedules. It's not 8 to 5.” |
ROMER’S OFT-RECYCLED CRISIS QUIP: “A crisis is a terrible thing to waste.” |
THE CLASSIC MEL BROOKS MOVIE QUIP: The Sheriff of Rottingham (actor Roger Rees) “Kill him!” [Referring to a mime who tried to entertain him and Prince John at a banquet.] |
THE CLASSIC SHIRLEY MACLAINE MOVIE QUIP: Ouiser Boudreaux (actress Shirley MacLaine): “A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.” |
THE AVID COMPOSTER’S RULE: “Compost...Because a Rind is a Terrible Thing to Waste!” |
THE HAIRY UPPER LIP RULE: “A Mustache Is A Terrible Thing To Shave” |
STERN’S DICKISH VARIATION: “A penis is a terrible thing to waste.” |
THE INFAMOUS QUAYLE BLOOPER: “When you take the UNCF model that, what a waste it is to lose one’s mind, or not to have a mind is being very wasteful, how true that is.” |
* * * * * * * * * *
Comments? Corrections? Questions? Email me or post them on my Famous Quotations Facebook page.
February 24, 2022
Why laws, iPads, writing and porn are like sausages…
| THE FAMOUS SAUSAGE SIMILE: “Laws are like sausages. It’s better not to see them being made.” |
| AN IPAD APPLICATION: “iPads are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made....We in the West don’t really seem to care that Chinese employees work under awful conditions and die in appalling numbers — unless they make shiny things that we use. We claim we don’t want people to suffer, but in fact we just don’t want our iProducts tainted by that suffering. Isn’t that more than a little hypocritical?” |
| GEORGE R.R. MARTIN’S VARIATION: “Writing is like sausage making in my view; you’ll all be happier in the end if you just eat the final product without knowing what’s gone into it.” |
| THE OFFENSIVE OBSERVATION: “In defending their work, members of Congress love to repeat a quotation attributed to Otto von Bismarck: ‘If you like laws and sausages, you should never watch either one being made.’...In many ways, that quotation is offensive to sausage makers; their process is better controlled and more predictable.” |
| THE PORN VARIATION: “Sex Pigs: Why Porn is Like Sausage, or the Truth is That – Behind the Scenes – Porn Is Not Very Sexy.” |
* * * * * * * * * *
Comments? Corrections? Questions? Email me or post them on my Famous Quotations Facebook page.




