God’s mysterious ways...

THE USUALLY MISQUOTED ORIGIN: “God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform; He plants his footsteps in the sea, And rides upon the storm.”         William Cowper (1731-1800)         British poet and hymn writer         From his Hymn No. 35, “Light Shining Out of Darkness”         These are the opening lyrics of the hymn, which was first published in Olney Hymns (1779). The first two lines are usually misquoted as “God moves in mysterious ways his wonders to perform” and often wrongly assumed to be a Bible quote.

THE INSURANCE COMPANY ANALOGY “Insurance companies move in mysterious ways. Much like God...only far less generous.”         The character Standish, played by actor Dan Duryea         In the 1965 movie The Flight of the Phoenix

T.S. ELIOT’S HIPPO ANALOGY “The hippopotamus’s day Is passed in sleep; at night he hunts; God works in a mysterious way The Church can feed and sleep at once.”         T.S. Eliot (1888-1965)         American-born British poet and playwright         In his poem “The Hippopotamus” (1919)

MURPHY’S REVELATION: “Life is mysterious to some, but God does not work in mysterious ways. The things which some consider as mysteries, others consider as revelations.”         Zuriel Ann Murphy         Nigerian-born UK inspirational author and speaker         In her book The Spoken Word (2013)

RACHEL’S REVELATION: “God doesn’t work in mysterious ways. He doesn’t give a shit. Everything doesn’t happen for a reason. Shit happens. Having faith doesn't make any difference. It’s just something to do while you go from point A to point B.”         John Rachel         American novelist and non-fiction book author         The inner thoughts of a character in his novel The Man Who Loved Too Much, Book 1: Archipelago (2015)

ALTERNATIVES TO THE PLATITUDE: “When people are in the middle of the darkest storm imaginable, the last thing they want to be told is that God is working everything together for good, and to trust in God's mysterious ways. It is not helpful. It is not comforting. It does not bring healing...The implication that God has predestined pain and suffering is unloving and can drive people away from the church. Making them a sandwich would be a better plan. Or cleaning their house. Or taking their children for an afternoon. Or just listening to them or sitting with them in silence.”         Natalie Toon Patton         American essayist, blogger and author         In her essay “8 Sayings Christians Use to Let Ourselves off the Hook”         Posted on the Sojo.net “faith in action” website, August 29, 2017

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“THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS” – Woody Guthrie’s enduring words…

WOODY’S FAMED ANTI-FASCIST SLOGAN: “THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS”        Woody Guthrie (1912-1967)        American folk musician and social activist        The legendary words he put on guitars he played        Some sources say Guthrie got his famous slogan from inscriptions painted on the sides of planes used by leftist Republican forces during the Spanish Civil War (1936-1939), in their ultimately doomed attempt to prevent General Francisco Franco from imposing a Fascist dictatorship in Spain.        Guthrie was a committed leftist himself (even an avowed Communist at one time), so that claim may be true. However, I was unable to find any authoritative history books or sites about the Spanish Civil War or any historic photos confirming the presence of the slogan on Republican airplanes, either in English or in the Spanish form “ESTA MÁQUINA MATA FASCISTAS.”        Woody owned many acoustic guitars during his musical career. Photographs of him show that he played at least two adorned with the slogan “THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS.” In the best-known, now-iconic photo, the words are hand-written in large letters on the body of a guitar Guthrie has in front of him, hanging by a strap around his neck. In other photos, the words are on what appears to a hand-lettered sticker at the top of a guitar he is playing.        Guthrie was certainly sypmpatico with the Republican side in the Spanish Civil War. But unsurprisingly, in light of his strong pro-union and anti-racist activism, his definition of “Fascists” was broader than the political term applied to 20th Century political regimes in Europe.         The lyrics of his song “All You Fascists” (which Guthrie once performed with the great African-American folk blues musician Sonny Terry on a radio show in 1944) say, in part:           “Race hatred cannot stop us           This one thing we know           Your poll tax and Jim Crow           And greed has got to go...            I’m going into this battle           And take my union gun           We’ll end this world of slavery           Before this battle’s won           You’re bound to lose           You fascists bound to lose!”

PETE’S PEACENIK VERSION: “THIS MACHINE SURROUNDS HATE AND FORCES IT TO SURRENDER”        Pete Seeger (1919-2014)        American folk musician        Words written on Seeger’s favorite banjo         Seeger was a close friend of Guthrie. He was also an equally committed social activist. But he was always a strong believer in pursuing change through non-violent means and preferred to avoid even a metaphorical reference to the use of violence to achieve social change in America. In a 2009 CBS News article, Seeger explained: “He [Woody Guthrie] had a sign on his guitar saying, ‘This machine kills fascists.’ I wanted something a little more peaceful.”

AN UPDATED VERSION FOR THE 21ST CENTURY: “THIS MACHINE DRIVES NEOCON, HOMOPHOBIC, WAR-MONGERING, CORPORATIST, ANTI-INTELLECTUAL, POLLUTING, IMPERIALISTIC, CRYPTO-FASCIST, HATE-SPEAK, FAUX-POPULIST, THEOCRATIC, CHICKENHAWK PRIVATEERS FROM THE ROOM”         Roy Zimmerman         American musician and humorist        Slogan written in a spiral on Zimmerman’s banjo        One of the witty songs on Zimmerman’s 2010 album Real American is “This Machine,” which ends with this funny final chorus: “This machine drives neocon, jingoistic, war-mongering, theocratic, faux-populist, anti-intellectual, drill-a-holic, social Darwinist, racist, sexist, isolationist, derivative insecurities, tax-cheating, C Street, hard line, strip mine, tea-bag, confederate flag, Birthers, Flat-earthers, hate-speak, crypto-fascists — and Brit Hume — screaming from the room.”

THE ROMNEY APPROPRIATION PLAN VARIATION: “THIS MACHINE KILLS MUPPETS”        A witty photoshopped version I saw on the Democratic Underground site        It’s a satiric poke at the infamous remark Romney made about the Muppet character Big Bird during his first presidential debate with President Barack Obama. Romney claimed to love Big Bird but said he would cut federal funding for PBS, which airs the hugely popular children's show that features the Muppets, Sesame Street.

AN APPROPRIATION OF THE SLOGAN BY THE ANTI-GUN CONTROL SIDE: “THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS”        Sign held by a protester opposing a renewed ban on assault rifles in the US         The protester and his sign, which juxtaposed the slogan with a drawing of an assault rifle, were featured in a January 2013 story about the gun control debate on Reuters.com.

A COUNTERQUOTE BY THE PRO-GUN CONTROL SIDE: “This machine kills people.”        Caption on a photo of an assault rifle I saw posted on the now defunct “Social Polemics” website

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“Suppose they gave a war and nobody came.”

THE ORIGINAL INSPIRATION FOR THE SIXTIES SLOGAN: “Sometime they’ll give a war and nobody will come.”        Carl Sandburg (1878-1967)        American poet and writer        A line from Sandburg’s epic prose poem The People, Yes (1936)        In the 1960s, several variations of an anti-war slogan began appearing on posters, in print and in songs. The version that became most common (as shown by the comparatively huge number of Google hits it gets) is “Suppose they gave a war and nobody came.” Other variations include “Suppose they gave a war and no one came” and “What if they gave a war and nobody came.” It’s not certain who coined the most familiar version, but this much is clear: all of the various iterations of the saying are ultimately descended from a line in Carl Sandburg’s book-length ode to America and it’s citizens, The People, Yes, first published in 1936.        In the poem, the line is said by a little girl who sees a group of soldiers marching in a parade. It’s from a part of the poem in which Sandburg seems to foresee the potential devastation of a second and possibly a third world war:        “The first world war came and its cost was laid on the people.        The second world war — the third — what will be the cost.        And will it repay the people for what they pay?...        The little girl saw her first troop parade and asked,         ‘What are those?’        ‘Soldiers.’        ‘What are soldiers?’        ‘They are for war. They fight and each tries to kill as many of the other side as he can.’        The girl held still and studied.         ‘Do you know ... I know something?’        ‘Yes, what is it you know?’        ‘Sometime they’ll give a war and nobody will come.’

THE EVOLUTION OF THE SIXTIES SLOGAN: “Suppose they gave a war and nobody came.”         Possibly coined by James R. Newman         American mathematician, writer and editor of Scientific American magazine         In the 1960s, several updated versions of Carl Sandburg’s line became popular. They were often used in the context of opposition to the Vietnam War. The most common version, “Suppose they gave a war and nobody came,” was used as a slogan on posters that were sold in Hippie shops in the late Sixties (like the blacklight poster shown at left). It was also used as the title of a comedy movie in 1970, giving it even broader recognition. Some posts on the Internet claim the now familiar words were first written by Bertolt Brecht in the 1930s. However, they give no source and I couldn’t find one, so I deem that claim doubtful. (As Abraham Lincoln said, “The problem with Internet quotations is that many are not genuine.”)         In contrast, the origin of the variation “Suppose They Gave a War and No One Came” is well documented. It was used as the title of a widely-read article written by the American poet and author Charlotte E. Keyes (1914-1980). The article, about her growing admiration for the anti-war activism of her son Gene, was published in the October 1966 issue of McCall’s magazine. Charlotte’s other son happens to be the quote and phrase maven Ralph Keyes. He noted in his excellent book The Quote Verifier (2006) that his mother saw the phrase “Suppose they gave a war and nobody came” in a 1961 letter to the editor in The Washington Post, written by James R. Newman. Newman was referencing, but apparently misremembering, Sandburg’s line. Charlotte cut out and kept the letter for future reference and later adapted the title of her article from it. Newman may or may not have coined “Suppose they gave a war and nobody came.” That paraphrase of Sandburg may already have been floating around at the time. However, I found no use of those words dated earlier than Newman’s 1961 letter in any newspaper archive or anywhere else online. So, he may deserve credit for creating the Sixties slogan (though perhaps inadvertently.)         Another variation, “What If They Gave a War and No One Came,” surfaced in 1968 as the title of a song by the now forgotten "Symphonopop" composer and musician Jonna Gault. And, in 1972, poet Allen Ginsberg echoed her version in his 1972 poem “Graffiti,” which included the lines “What if someone gave a war & Nobody came? / Life would ring the bells of Ecstasy and Forever be Itself again.”

A VARIATION ABOUT A DONALD TRUMP DEBATE NOBODY REMEMBERS: “What if they gave a debate and nobody came?”        Brad Knickerbocker        Staff writer and editor for the Christian Science Monitor         His humorous question in an article about the December 2011 Republican “debate” hosted by Donald Trump, which all but two Republican presidential candidates declined to participate in. (Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum were the only candidates who agreed to appear.)

THE VIAGRA VARIATION: “What if You Took Viagra and Nobody Came?”         Double entendre title of an article in the Jan.-Feb. 1999 issue of Mother Jones magazine        The tongue-in-cheek article discussed some non-drug alternatives to Viagra, such as an artificial nylon-polypropylene penis, penile implant surgery — or a Corvette.

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“Whatever is worth doing...”

LORD CHESTERFIELD’S MAXIM: “Whatever is worth doing at all, is worth doing well.”        Lord Chesterfield (Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield; 1694-1773)        British statesman and diplomat        One of the many bits of fatherly advice Chesterfield imparted in letters to his illegitimate son, Philip Stanhope. This one is from a letter dated March 10, 1746.         Chesterfield’s use is generally thought to have led to the modern proverbial version: “If a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing well.”

THE ECDYSIAST’S COUNTERQUOTE: “If a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing slowly — very slowly.”         Gypsy Rose Lee (Rose Louise Hovick; 1911-1970)         American Burlesque queen and author         This quip has been widely attributed to Lee in the decades since her death and appears to have been a favorite witticism of hers. However, there doesn’t seem to be any record of her saying it or using it in any of her books while she was alive.

CHESTERTON’S COUNTERQUOTE: “If a thing is worth doing it is worth doing badly.”        G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936)         English writer, philosopher and critic        A line from his book What’s Wrong with the World (1913). In context, it was his way of praising hobbies and other activities done by amateurs for pleasure, even if they have no special talent for them.

WALLY’S WISDOM: “My philosophy is that anything worth doing is too hard.”         The character Wally, in the December 27, 2004 edition of Scott Adams’ comic strip Dilbert.

MAYBE MICK’S MOTTO?: “Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.”         This saying is widely attributed to Mick Jagger, but without any specific citation of when he may have said it. The Yale Dictionary of Modern Proverbs says it dates back to at least 1962, when it was used in the headline of an ad for Jantzen Sportswear.

THE SUCKY BEGINNINGS PRINCIPLE: “Anything worth doing is going to suck at the beginning. Anything worth doing is meant to require pain and sacrifice. Herein lies the problem facing America, which originally was built on the moral of impulse control. What once used to be a country filled with people sacrificing momentary pleasure for a better future, the overpowering message of today is live for the moment.”         Benjamin P. Hardy         American columnist and author         In one of his posts on the TheLadders.com site (Jan. 22, 2019) *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     * Comments? Corrections? Questions? Email me or post them on my Famous Quotations Facebook page. Related reading, viewing and listening…

War as politics, politics as war – and various other things “continued by other means”...

THE MISTRANSLATED MAXIM: “War is the continuation of politics by other means.”         Carl von Clausewitz (1780-1831)        Prussian general and military theorist        On War (1832-1834), Bk. VIII, Ch. VI, Section B: “War is an Instrument of Policy”        This is the traditional English translation of a line from On War (Vom Kriege), a collection of writings by Clausewitz that was published posthumously by his wife in three volumes between 1832 and 1834. It encapsulates a point Clausewitz made, but it’s not an exact translation. One issue is that some words can be translated several ways. For example, the German word politik can mean either ‘politics’ or ‘policy.’ In German, the full sentence the maxim comes from says: “Wir behaupten dagegen, der Krieg ist nichts als eine Fortsetzung des politischen Verkehrs mit Einmischung anderer Mittel.” This can be and has been translated in several ways, but essentially says something like: “We maintain [or ‘assert’] however, that war is nothing but a continuation of politics [or ‘policy’] with the admixture [or ‘addition’] of other means [or ‘resources’].” In context, the point Clausewitz was making is that he disagreed with the idea that war amounted to an end of political ‘intercourse’ (Verkehr) or discourse. He asserted that war is merely another kind of political communication that has its own ‘grammar’ (Grammatik). In short, while the oft-quoted maxim does seem to reflect Clausewitz’s line of thought, the common English translation is not literally correct.

A MODERN POLITICAL VARIATION: “American politics is now the continuation of ‘war by other means.’...Government shutdowns, threatened debt default, racism, homophobia and Islamophobia can seem like discrete political struggles for democracy, good governance, and equal rights. Progressives and moderates make a huge mistake when they do not see the connections extremists make among them. It is crucial to see that to the extreme right-wing that is hijacking our political process right now, these are not discrete issues but part of a cosmic war on Satan played out in our American political life.”        Rev. Dr. Susan Brooks Thistlethwaite        Professor of Theology at the Chicago Theological Seminary, author of #Occupy the Bible: What Jesus Really Said (and Did) About Money and Power          In an opinion piece in the Washington Post, October 15, 2013        (Cartoon by David Horsey)

AN ARMS SUPPLIER’S VERSION: “War is the improvement of investment climates by other means.”         Ben Kingsley as the character Walken, The Viceroy        In the satirical anti-war movie War, Inc. (2008)

A TECH VISIONARY’S VERSION: “Technology is the continuation of evolution by other means, and is itself an evolutionary process.”        Ray Kurzweil        American inventor, author and futurist        In his book The Age of Spiritual Machines (2000)

LEGAL VARIATION #1: “Law in a good society is first and foremost the continuation of morality by other means.”        Amitai Etzioni        German-born American sociologist        In his book The New Golden Rule (1998)

LEGAL VARIATION #2: “Litigation...the continuation of business by other means.”        Frederick L. Whitmer        Professional litigator and author        In his book Litigation Is War (2007)

THE STOOGES MEET THE EVIL DEAD VERSION: “Mr. Raimi [movie director Sam Raimi]...has cited the Three Stooges as his comic inspiration, and indeed, Evil Dead II is a sort of continuation of Stoogism by other means. Here, an eyeball isn’t just poked, but poked out and sent flying across the room, to be swallowed by an innocent bystander. Of such things, Moe Howard could only dream.”         Dave Kehr        American film critic        Referring to the famed “eyeball popping” scene in the horror film Evil Dead 2 (1987)        In a DVD review in the New York Times, October 18, 2005

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