THE FAMOUS ORIGINAL QUOTE: “When in doubt, win the trick.” |
JON STEWART’S RULE: “When in doubt, don’t be douchey.” |
CHAIRMAN MALCOLM’S ADVICE: “When in doubt, duck,” |
AL PACINO’S ADVICE: “When in doubt, fuck.” |
THE FOUNDING FATHERS PLOY: “When in doubt, in American politics, left, right, or center, deploy the Founding Fathers.” |
THE SEXY NAME PLOY: “If you’re bad with names, don’t call out any during sex. It’s likely to get you into trouble...When in doubt, acknowledge them with saucy terms of endearment such as stud muffin, sugar, ooh baby, oh my god, hotness and such.” |
THE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION SOLUTION: “Just pick a resolution that you know you can stick to for a full year; when in doubt pick an easy one such as…never helping those in need, dieting when you are really skinny, and never running on the treadmill.” |
THE SELF INTEREST PRINCIPLE: “When in doubt, bet on narrow ‘head in the sand’ self-interest.” |
THE ANTI-SELF INTEREST PRINCIPLE: “Remember: when in doubt, don’t ever do what you really want to do.” |
BOREN’S GUIDELINES FOR BUREAUCRATS: “Guidelines for bureaucrats: (1) When in charge, ponder. (2) When in trouble, delegate. (3) When in doubt, mumble.” |
JULIA’S GUIDELINE FOR COOKS: “When in doubt, add more butter.” |
MARK TWAIN’S MAXIM: “When in doubt, tell the truth.” |
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