September 21, 2010

You’re no Jack Kennedy / Sarah Palin / Ronald Reagan / (Insert Name Here)...


THE FAMOUS ORIGINAL DISS:

“I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.”
       Lloyd M. Bentsen (1921-2006)
       U.S. Senator from Texas and 1988 Democratic candidate for Vice President
       This legendary put down was unleashed by Bentsen against Republican vice-presidential candidate Senator Dan Quayle in their televised debate on October 5, 1988. Prior to the debate, Quayle had been defending his relative youth and lack of experience by comparing himself to the young John F. Kennedy. Bentsen was ready to pounce if Quayle mentioned Kennedy in the debate. Sure enough, Quayle answered a question from journalist Tom Brokaw by saying: “I have far more experience than many others that sought the office of Vice President of this country. I have as much experience in the Congress as Jack Kennedy did when he sought the presidency.” Bentsen responded with his famous “You’re no Jack Kennedy” zinger, creating a new formula for an insult that has been used ever since. 


THE SARAH PALIN VARIATION:

“I know Sarah Palin. I respect Sarah Palin. And with all due respect - Christine O’Donnell is no Sarah Palin.”
       Republican media pundit Bill Kristol
       Comment to CNN on September 13, 2010, dissing Connecticut Tea Party candidate Christine O’Donnell a few days before she defeated Republican Party favorite Mike Castle in the state’s Republican primary election. O’Donnell had been publicly endorsed by Sarah Palin.


RONALD REAGAN’S QUIP:

“This fellow they’ve nominated claims he’s the new Thomas Jefferson. Well, let me tell you something. I knew Thomas Jefferson. He was a friend of mine. And Governor, you’re no Thomas Jefferson!”
       President Ronald Reagan (1911-2004)
       His joking comment about Democratic Presidential nominee Bill Clinton (and his own age) in an address at the Republican National Convention, August 17, 1992


A REAGAN DAUGHTER’S VERSION:

“The 2008 [Republican] presidential candidates try to imitate my father and proclaim themselves more Reaganesque than their competitors. Where is Lloyd Bentsen when you need him? ‘I knew Ronald Reagan…Senator [or Governor], you’re no Ronald Reagan.’”
       Patti Davis
       Actress, author and daughter of Ronald and Nancy Reagan
       In an op-ed in Newsweek, December 29, 2007


HARRY TRUMAN’S DAUGHTER’S VERSION:

“I would say to George Bush, ‘You are no Harry Truman.’”
       Margaret Truman (1924-2008)
       Daughter of President Harry Truman
       Her response to comments by President George H. W. Bush comparing himself to President Harry Truman, during the 1992 Presidential campaign


THE AL GORE FARMBOY VARIATION:

“Al, I was an Iowa farmboy. Iowa farmboys are friends of mine, and you’re no Iowa farmboy.”
       Republican National Committee Chair Jim Nicholson
       Quote in an RNC press release (March 17, 1999) responding to Vice President Al Gore’s claim that he did a lot of farm work as a young man, such as cleaning out “hog waste with a shovel and a hose.” Nicholson added: “Mr. Vice President, with all due respect, you’re shoveling a lot more of it right now than you ever did back then.”

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Comments? Corrections? Post them on my quotations Facebook group.

Brush up on your insults…

July 15, 2010

Some pointed responses to Tony Hayward’s infamous quote


THE INFAMOUS, INFURIATING QUOTE:

“There’s no one who wants this thing over more than I do. I’d like my life back.”
       BP CEO Tony Hayward 
       Tone deaf comment to a reporter on May 30, 2010 about British Petroleum’s Deepwater Horizon oil rig disaster and the resulting massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico


CARTOONIST’S COUNTERPOINT
:

    Political cartoon by Jack Ohman 
    Published in The Oregonian, June 2010


11 LOST LIVES COUNTERQUOTE:

“Americans watched as BP’s Tony Hayward looking pitifully into television cameras exclaiming to the world that he ‘wants his life back’, totally forgetting about the 11 lives that were lost on the Deepwater Horizon on April 20, 2010…To the rest of us who heard him speak, it’s crystal clear that money does not bring back life and neither does a millionaire’s self-pity.”
       Journalist Gregory Boyce 
       Post on the Examiner.com site, June 21, 2010


LENO’S COUNTERQUOTE:

“BP CEO Tony Hayward said he would just like to get his life back. He wants to get his life back! You know, I say give him life plus 20.”
       Jay Leno
       On The Tonight Show, June 8, 2010


BP SONG VARIATION:

“BP wants their life back.
BP wants a little break.
BP’s had their fill of this nasty spill 
And it’s slimed their precious corp’rate name...
‘Can’t we get back to just making money?
Can’t we get back to a simpler time 
When we weren't held accountable 
   for the nature of our crimes?”
       Songwriter Mick Terry
       In his sardonic song “BP Wants Their Life Back”


*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *    

Comments? Questions? Corrections? Post them on my quotations Facebook group.

Further reading about some of the some of the stupidest things ever said or done…

July 10, 2010

“I never promised you a rose garden…”



THE ORIGIN OF THE FAMOUS LINE:

“I Never Promised You a Rose Garden” 
       Hannah Green (pen name of Joanne Greenberg)
       Title of
her 1964 novel, which is the real origin of the saying.
       Of course, it was made even more famous by country singer
Lynn Anderson’s 1970 hit song of the same name. The well-known opening lyrics, written by Joe South, are: “I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden.” Greenberg’s novel is a semi-autobiographical account of a her struggle with schizophrenia as a teenager. In an emotional scene in the book, her therapist tells her: “I never promised you a rose garden. I never promised you perfect justice and I never promised you peace or happiness. My help is that so you can be free to fight for all of these things. The only reality I offer is challenge, and being well is being free to accept it or not at whatever level you are capable. I never promise lies, and the rose-garden world of perfection is a lie...and a bore too!”



THE TOUGH JUDGE VERSION:

“Nobody promised them [prison inmates] a rose garden…They have been convicted of crime, and there is nothing in the Constitution which forbids their being penalized as a result of that conviction.”
       William Rehnquist (1924-2005)
       Associate Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court 
       From
his written decision against a group of Oregon prison inmates who wanted the state to be forced to reduce prison overcrowding conditions they contended were inhumane and illegal, in the case Atiyeh v. Capps, Feb. 4, 1981.



THE PASSION OF MEL VERSION:

“Apparently Mel Gibson did promise his babymama Oksana Grigorieva a rose garden…But totally not in a good way. In the latest round of the seemingly endless parade of embarrassing tape leaks purporting to capture the Passion of the Christ helmsman in full meltdown mode, a new snippet of conversation has emerged, in which Gibson reportedly threatens to bury Grigorieva in the flower bed of his Malibu, California, mansion.”
       From
a post on the PEACE FM Online site, July 9, 2010 



THE PRESIDENTIAL VERSION:

“I never promised you a rose garden but I guess [Press Secretary] Ron Nessen did. So, I hope you enjoy this new setting and the new format, and I hope I enjoy it, too.”
       President Gerald R. Ford (1913-2006)
       At a
news conference on October 9, 1974
       Ford was joking about his newly announced plan to hold press conferences in the White House Rose Garden. When Ford and other presidents later started using this option during campaign periods to avoid the usual campaign travel grind while still generating news stories and looking presidential, it was dubbed the “Rose Garden Strategy.”



THE BIONIC VERSION:

Col. Steve Austin (actor Lee Majors): “Now wait a minute, Jaime, you're not going out a torpedo tube. Now you felt the sub, it’s gonna be rough out there.” 
Jaime Sommers (actress Lindsay Wagner): “You never promised me a rose garden.”
       The American TV series The Bionic Woman (1976-77)
       In the episode
“Kill Oscar: Part 3” (1976)

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *    

Comments? Questions? Corrections? Post them on my quotations Facebook group.

July 7, 2010

Who finishes first: nice guys or Heather Locklear?


FAMOUS SPORTS CATCHPHRASE:

“Nice guys finish last.”
       Leo Durocher (1906-1991)
       Baseball player and manager
       Catchphrase traditionally attributed to Durocher, based on remarks he made to reporters about the New York Giants on July 6, 1946, while he was managing the Brooklyn Dodgers.


GIRLS GONE WILD VARIATION:

“Fast girls finish first, and bad girls finish often.” 
       Novelist Annette Blair
       Sex and the Psychic Witch (2007)


MELROSE PLACE CONFIRMATION:

Allison (actress Courtney Thorne-Smith ): “Amanda may be a mean, self-serving, ultra-bitch, but she was right about one thing. Nice guys do finish last in this world. Or hadn’t you heard?”
       From the Melrose Place TV series
       In the episode “To Live & Die in Malibu” (1995) 
       Heather Locklear plays Amanda


SPONGEBOB COUNTERQUOTE:

SpongeBob SquarePants: “You used me...That wasn’t nice.” 
Plankton: “Haven’t you figured it out, SpongeBob? Nice guys finish last. Only aggressive people conquer the world.” 
SpongeBob: “Well, what about aggressively nice people?”
       From the SpongeBob SquarePants TV series
       In the episode "Texas/Walking Small" (2000)


NICHE MARKETING VERSION:

“Niche Guys Finish First.”
       Journalist John H. Taylor
       Title of an article he wrote for Forbes, Oct. 26, 1992 
       


MARKETING GONE WILD VERSION:

“Unregulated international competition appears quite destructive and potentially threatening to our social economy. ‘Good guys finish last’ is a very real scenario in a world pregnant with standards-leveling competition, mobile capital, and billions of low-wage workers eager to get in on the action.” 
       Social economist Edward J. O’Boyle
       In his book Social Economics (1996)


*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Comments? Questions? Corrections? Post them on my quotations Facebook group.

July 5, 2010

“A mind is a terrible thing to waste.”


FAMOUS ORIGINAL SLOGAN:

“A mind is a terrible thing to waste.”
       Ad slogan for the United Negro College Fund since 1971
       Coined by the Young & Rubicam ad agency


CORSETIÈRE COUNTERQUOTE:

“A waist is a terrible thing to waste.” 
       Headline of an article about the Vancouver corset shop (a “corsetière”) Lace Embrace Atelier


COPYCAT COUNTERQUOTE:

“A sick mind is a terrible thing to waste.”
       Movie critic Richard Corliss
       In his negative review of the psychokiller movie Copycat (1995)


GRAMMARIAN’S QUIBBLE:

“The Fund [UNCF] has a slogan that reads, ‘A mind is a terrible thing to waste.’ But while one understands the intent of its worded content, the manner in which the slogan is worded makes for light wonderment in semantics as to whether a mind really is a ‘terrible thing’? Should it not then be, ‘It’s a terrible thing to waste a mind’?” 
       Guyanese journalist Emile Mervin
       In an article in the Guyana Gazette, Feb. 26, 2006


COMPOSTER’S VARIATION:

“Compost...because a rind is a terrible thing to waste!”
       Title of a composting manual by Jean Bonhotal and Karen Rollo
       Published by the Cornell University Waste Management Institute (1996)


INFAMOUS QUAYLE BLOOPER:

“When you take the UNCF model that, what a waste it is to lose one’s mind, or not to have a mind is being very wasteful, how true that is.”
       Dan Quayle
       Vice President of the United States (1989-1993)
       Speech at the United Negro College Fund, May 9, 1989
       What a Waste It Is to Lose One's Mind is the title of an unauthorized “autobiography” of Quayle


*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Comments? Questions? Corrections? Post them on my quotations Facebook group.

Brush up on your bloopers...

June 29, 2010

“I am not an animal!”


FAMOUS MOVIE QUOTE:

“I am not an animal!  I am a human being!”
       John Hurt as John Merrick, “The Elephant Man”
       In the film version of The Elephant Man (1980)
       Based on the 1977 play by Bernard Pomerance


THE PENGUIN’S COUNTERQUOTE:

Danny DeVito (as The Penguin): “I am not a human being. I am an animal!”
       In the movie Batman Returns (1992)


NIETZCHE’S VERSION:

“I am not a human being. I am dynamite.”
       German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
       Ecce Homo (written in 1888, published in 1908)


THE PRODUCERS’ VERSION:

Gene Wilder (as Leo Bloom): “Actors are not animals. They’re human beings.”
Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock): “They are? Have you ever eaten with one?” 
       In Mel Brooks’ movie The Producers (1968)


MST3K VARIATION:

Tom Servo: “I am not an animal. I am a rubber model!”
       One of the quips Tom made on Mystery Science Theater 3000 while watching a stop-motion dinosaur in the 1951 movie, Lost Continent

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Comments? Questions? Corrections? Post them on my quotations Facebook group.

June 19, 2010

“Those who cannot remember the past...”


FAMOUS ORIGINAL QUOTE:

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
       George Santayana (1863-1952)
       Spanish-American philosopher, poet and novelist 
       In his book The Life of Reason, Volume I (1905) 
       This line was used by Walter Shirer as the epigraph of his book Rise and Fall of the Third Reich (1959)
       Often misquoted with the ending “doomed to repeat it.”


STOP MISQUOTES COUNTERQUOTE:

“A deliberately incorrect Google search (with search terms Santayana, ‘remember history’ and ‘doomed to repeat’), yielded 269 Web pages misquoting Santayana (‘Those who cannot remember history are doomed to repeat it.’). Those who cannot remember quotations are condemned to paraphrase them.”
       A reference librarian who blogs as “denseatoms”
       On the NowPublic.com site


JANE ACE COUNTERQUOTE:

“Those who cannot forget the past are doomed to remember it.”
       Jane Ace (1897-1974)
       American comedienne, wife and comic partner of Goodman Ace
       One of her famous malaprops on the couple’s Easy Aces radio show (1930-1945)


BUFFY’S VARIATION:

“You know what they say. Those of us who fail history, doomed to repeat it in summer school.”
       Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar)
       In the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer 
       From the episode "After Life" (Season 6, Ep. 3), first aired Oct. 9, 2001


BUFFY FAN VARIATION:

“Those who cannot forget the past are doomed to watch it — endlessly — in syndication.”
       Article on the fall TV season in TV Guide, 1985
       (Image by Chicago artist Stacia Yeapanis)


*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Comments? Questions? Corrections? Post them on my Famous Quotations Facebook group.

Read some books about misquotations (so you don’t repeat them)…

June 15, 2010

“The right tool for the right job.”


FAMOUS ADVERTISING SLOGAN:

“The right tool for the right job.”
       Ad slogan used for True Temper tools since at least 1907 
       This may not have been the first use of the saying, but it did help popularize it in America.


THE SEXY VERSION:

“When it come to lovin’
Honey, mama,
I’m the one you want
Well, I may not be the best lookin’
But I’m the right tool for the job.”

       David Lee Roth
       American rock music vocalist
       In his song “Right Tool for the Job,” on the DLR Band album (1998) 


THE UNSEXY VERSION:

“Even if one’s intentions are good, the wrong tool for the wrong task is the wrong tool for the wrong task. Sex in an incorrect circumstance is not useful, no matter how good it feels.”
       Joshua Miller
       The Heart of Love (2009) 


CRIMINOLOGY VARIATION:

“The criminal justice system is a tool – one of several – for promoting national security, for protecting our country against terrorism. Sometimes it's the right tool; sometimes it’s the wrong tool.”
       U.S. Assistant Attorney General David Kris
       Speech at the Brookings Institution, June 2010


THEOLOGY VARIATION:

“Perhaps it is time for atheists and anti-theists to take a break from the God arguments. In a way, by continuing the debates, they also continue to reinforce belief in God by theists, because the more they argue against it, the more their opponents lash back with their vehement responses for it. Why? Because they are using the right tool for the wrong job, like using cold reason to sympathize with a person in duress.”
       Kris Hartung
       Post on the Project Reason website, July 24, 2009

*     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Comments? Questions? Corrections? Post them on my Famous Quotations Facebook group.




Recommended book about proverbial sayings…

Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings

Compiled by Gregory Titelman

Copyrights, Disclaimers & Privacy Policy


Creative Commons License
Copyright © Subtropic Productions LLC

The Quote/Counterquote blog is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License. Any duplicative or remixed use of the original text written for this blog and any exact duplications the specific sets of quotations collected for the posts shown here must include an attribution to QuoteCounterquote.com and, if online, a link to http://www.quotecounterquote.com/

To the best of our knowledge, the non-original content posted here is used in a way that is allowed under the fair use doctrine. If you own the copyright to something we've posted and think we may have violated fair use standards, please let me know.

Subtropic Productions LLC and QuoteCounterquote.com are committed to protecting your privacy. We will not sell your email address, etc. For more details, read this blog's full Privacy Policy.