THE FAMOUS ORIGINAL QUOTE: “If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.” |
THE SKEPTIC’S COUNTERQUOTE: “Reason tells us that if the skeptic did not exist it would be necessary to invent him.” |
BOB DYLAN’S VERSION: “If I didn’t exist, someone would have to have invented me.” |
THE DOCTOR WHO VARIATION: “If heroes do not exist, it is necessary to invent them. Good for public morale.” |
LOUIS L’AMOUR’S VERSION: “Men strive for peace, but it is their enemies that give them strength, and I think if man no longer had enemies, he would have to invent them, for his strength only grows from struggle.” |
THE RETAILERS’ VIEW OF CHRISTMAS: “From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.” |
THE TRICKY DICK PRINCIPLE: “If Nixon did not exist, it would be necessary for Americans to invent him. He’s the Mount Rushmore of failed presidential ambitions.” |
THE SARAH PALIN PRINCIPLE: “A figure like Sarah Palin serves a need for both her followers and her detractors. Much as Voltaire famously said about God, if Sarah Palin did not exist, it would be necessary for someone to invent her.” |
SARTRE’S ANTI-SEMITE PRINCIPLE: “If the Jew did not exist, the anti-Semite would invent him.” |
DENNIS HOPPER’S RESPONSE TO IT ALL: Captain America (Peter Fonda): (Reading a plaque on the wall of a New Orleans brothel) “If God did not exist it would be necessary to invent him.” |
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Further reading: books of quotations about God by believers and non-believers: