“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” (And recount some of the countless variations)

THE ORIGIN OF THE IMMORTAL LOVE QUOTE: “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”        Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)        English poet        The famous opening words of Sonnet 43, from her Sonnets from the Portuguese (written 1845-46, published 1850)        Robert Browning and Elizabeth Barrett fell deeply in love after meeting at her father’s home in 1845. Elizabeth soon began writing a series of poems expressing her love for Robert. Robert was soon calling her by the pet name “my little Portuguese,” a reference to her dark hair and complexion. In 1846, they eloped. Four years later, the love poems Elizabeth had written for Robert before they married were published in an anthology of her poetry, under the collective title Sonnets from the Portuguese. Sonnet 43 is the best known. Its ten opening words are among the most famous — and most parodied — bits of poetry in the English language.

THE GRUMPY CAT MEME: “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... 1. Don’t”         One of the countless Grumpy Cat memes

A PRESIDENTIAL HEADSCRATCHER: “How are Donald Trump and Abraham Lincoln similar? Let us count the ways.”         Gene Weingarten         Acerbic American columnist         Headline of his October 11, 2018 column about the “meme spreading earnestly across the right aisle of the Internet contending that Donald Trump is such a great president that the only predecessor he can be fairly compared to is … Abraham Lincoln.”         How do those two presidents compare? Refer to Grumpy Cat's answer above.

A FOOTBALL QUIZ: “Why Do People Hate The Patriots? Let Me Count The Ways... 1. People are tired of them winning... 2. People hate when you don’t care that you're hated... 3. The most legitimate reason is probably the Deflategate investigation... 4. Another reason is because of Brady and Donald Trump’s friendship... 5. People really do not like the Patriots.”         Yasaman Khorsandi         American freelance journalist         In her column in the Elite Daily website, January 30, 2018. Flash forward to 2019. I suspect there are even more reasons.

THE GLEE HATER’S VERSION:           “How do I hate GLEE? Let me count the ways. For starters, this is a saccharine snorefest. And don’t even get me started on gleeks, autotune, the characters…”        Daniel Bettridge        British TV and film critic        In a review posted on The Guardian’s TV & Radio Blog on March 15, 2010

THE MITT ROMNEY VARIATION: “Is Mitt Romney, well-coiffed automobile heir and consulting savant, weird? Let us count the ways.”        Juli Weiner                     American writer now on the staff of Last Week Tonight With John Oliver                     In a post on Vanity Fair’s “VF Daily” blog, August 9, 2011

THE NANCY PELOSI VARIATION: “Ah, Nancy how do I love thee, let me count the ways. You stimulate me to no end. My heart flutters when I think about your passing Obamacare. And of course we all know you come from that wonderful city of San Francisco that so embraces our core American values like a collective hate of the McDonald’s Happy Meal.”        Dr. Richard Swier        Conservative blogger and host of the Dr. Rich Show, a Florida-based radio talk show        In a November 14, 2010 post bashing Nancy Pelosi, on the now defunct “Red County” website

AN HOMAGE TO RYAN GOSLING’S ARMS: “How Much Do I Love Ryan Gosling’s Arms? Let Me Count The Ways. 1. They’re huge. 2. They can envelop a pack of wild animals. 3. They were in Young Hercules. (LOL) 4. He can probably crush a can of spinach with the contents flying directly into his mouth Popeye-style. 5. He could probably grill paninis in between his hands. 6. He can hoist Al Roker up over his head, Dirty Dancing style.”         Michelle Collins         American comedian and talk show host who was Managing Editor of VH1’s now defunct Bestweekever.tv site        Gushing about Gosling in a post on Bestweekever.tv, after seeing him in an appearance on the Today Show.

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