February 14, 2013

“You can’t handle the truth!” – from Jack Nicholson to Zero Dark Thirty to Liz Lemon’s boobies…


JACK NICHOLSON’S FAMOUS MOVIE RANT:

“You can’t handle the truth!”   
       Jack Nicholson (as Col. Nathan R. Jessep) 
       Nicholson’s shouted response to Tom Cruise (playing Lt. Daniel Kaffee) in the movie
A Few Good Men (1992), after Cruise tells him “I want the truth!” during the climactic court-martial scene.
       After yelling his now iconic line, Nicholson’s character Col. Jessep goes on
a long rant that unwittingly leads to an admission of his culpability in the death of Marine PFC William Santiago at the American military facility in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Col. Jessep felt Santiago had disrespected the chain of command and wasn’t living up to Marine traditions. So, he secretly ordered two other Marines to subject Santiago to a “Code Red,” a term for harsh, unsanctioned physical punishment. This unintentionally caused Santiago’s death and led to a military trial. During intense questioning by Kaffee, Jessep ultimately admits he ordered the Code Red, but not before giving a riveting speech about the need for tough military personnel who are willing to do what’s needed to protect American civilians.
       Here’s a transcript of their memorable exchange:    
  Jessep (Jack Nicholson): You want answers?    
  Kaffee (Tom Cruise): I think I’m entitled to them.    
  Jessep: You want answers?    
  Kaffee: I want the truth!  
  Jessep:
You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said ‘thank you’ and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to! 
  Kaffee:
Did you order the Code Red? 
  Jessep:
I did the job that —    
  Kaffee:
Did you order the Code Red? 
  Jessep: You’re goddamn right I did!


THE MOVIE AWARDS SNUB VERSION:

Zero Dark Thirty...earned five Academy Award nominations, including Best Motion Picture. But director Kathryn Bigelow, the first woman to win a Best Director Oscar for her 2008 war drama The Hurt Locker, didn’t get a nod for her efforts...‘She showed what was really happening,’ [Producer Madison] Jones said. ‘Maybe sometimes we can’t handle the truth.’ The Academy did not respond to a request for comment.”
       Hollie McKay
       Pop Culture/Entertainment Columnist at FoxNews.com
      
In a report on the Academy Award nominations for movies released in 2012 
       Kathryn Bigelow’s gutsy film Zero Dark Thirty created an uncomfortable moral dilemma for many liberals, like some of the Hollywood set that votes on who gets Academy Awards. The movie graphically depicts the fact that torture (which they oppose) was used on Muslim prisoners by the American military to gain information that helped in the search for and elimination of Osama Bin Laden (a goal they supported). This is suspected to be the reason why Bigelow was left out of the Academy’s nominations for Best Director.


HOMER SIMPSON’S MULTIPLE-MOVIE QUOTE RANT:

“Look Marge, you don't know what it’s like - I’m the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I’m not out of order. You’re out of order. The whole freakin’ system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth? You can’t HANDLE the truth. ‘Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face, you’ll know what to do. Forget it, Marge, it’s Chinatown.”  
       Homer Simpson (voiced by Dan Castellaneta) 
       Homer’s rant in the
“Secrets of a Successful Marriage” episode of The Simpsons, first aired on May 19, 1994. In addition to using lines from A Few Good Men, his rant includes references to famous quotes from the movies ...And Justice for All (1979), Patton (1970) and Chinatown (1974).


THE BIMBO BARB VARIATION:

“To call a woman who is intellectually-challenged and painfully inexperienced in politics a bimbo isn’t sexist, it’s simply the truth. In fact, to argue that a dumb woman shouldn’t be called bimbo is sexist — it implies that women are too fragile to handle the truth.”
       Robert Paul Reyes
       Liberal journalist and blogger
       In a post about Sarah Palin
on “The Student Operated Press” website, February 28th, 2011


THE LIZ LEMON BOOBIES VERSION:

Liz Lemon (actress Tina Fey): “You want the truth, Kenneth, you want the truth?”
Kenneth Parcell (actor Jack McBrayer):
“I can’t handle the truth!”
Liz:
“There is an adult picture of me on that phone...It’s a boobies picture, Kenneth, and I only kept it because for once they were both pointing in the same direction.”
       In the “Larry King” episode of 30 Rock
(Season 3, Ep. 12), first aired on February 26, 2009

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