“I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV.”

THE FAMOUS FAUX DOCTOR’S LINE: “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV.”        Used in TV ads for Vicks Formula 44 cough syrup by actors Chris Robinson and Peter Bergman        This now oft-parodied confession was popularized by Vicks Formula 44 commercials that began airing in 1984. The original ads featured Robinson, who was best known at the time for his role as Dr. Rick Webber on the television soap opera General Hospital. In 1986, after Robinson was convicted of tax evasion, he was replaced in the Vicks ads by actor Peter Bergman, who was playing Dr. Cliff Warner on the soap All My Children.        In a 1984 version of the Vicks commercial that’s currently posted on YouTube with some other vintage ads from 1984, Robinson says: “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV. And, when many adults get a cough, they play doctor at home. They treat their cough with the same medicine they originally bought for their children. They need one of the adult formulas from Vicks, for the coughs adults get, with the strength adults need. Formula 44 for coughs. 44D for coughs with congestion. And, now, Formula 44M for coughs with congestion and a raw irritated throat. The adult formulas. You can't buy anything more effective.”        Bergman’s initial ad for Vicks in 1986 was virtually identical.

A JAB AT A REAL DOCTOR WHO CROSSED THE LINE: “TV’s answer to Web MD, Dr. Mehmet Oz, ran a segment...claiming that his tests found high levels of arsenic in ‘some of the nation’s best known brands of apple juice.’ But because he’s a doctor AND he plays one on TV, the FDA says Dr. Oz’s tests were flawed and that he went overboard on the fearmongering.”         Christopher Robbins        American journalist and editor         In a Sept. 18, 2011 post on the Gothamist website about the recent flap over Dr. Oz’s claim that apple juice contained potentially unsafe levels of arsenic         Food and Drug Administration officials criticized Oz for using tests that do not distinguish between poisonous inorganic arsenic and naturally-occurring organic arsenic, which is found in soil and in many food products in minute levels and is not really a health threat. (If it were, we’d all be dead.)

A JAB AT AN ALLEGEDLY FAUX CHRISTIAN: “In her 2006 book Godless: The Church of Liberalism, pundit Ann Coulter attacked Democrats for being anti-religion and for faking religious faith. However, Coulter apparently is not a member or regular attendee of any church. Perhaps she should offer a disclaimer at every personal appearance: ‘I’m not a Christian, but I play one on TV, radio, and in books.’”        Brian Kaylor         Baptist journalist, blogger and book author        In his book For God’s Sake, Shut Up! Lessons for Christians on How to Speak Effectively (2007)

A JAB AT FAUX FEMINISTS BY A FEMINIST HERO: “I’m Not a Feminist But I Play One on TV”        Susan Faludi         Feminist writer and activist          Title of her oft-cited feminist article published in the March/April 1995 issue of Ms. magazine        In the article, Faludi criticized so-called “third-wave feminists” and female celebrities who appear or claim to be “liberated” but who are more closely aligned with conservative, traditional values and views of women than with the values and views espoused by feisty feminists like Faludi. She called such women “Pod Feminists,” a metaphor based on the “pod people” in the classic sci-fi horror film Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

A JAB AT A “FEMINIST HERO” (WHO’S FAUX IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE): “Heidi Montag may think she’s a feminist, but she definitely doesn’t play one on TV.”        Comment posted on the AolTV site by the editors of Lemondrop.com        The comment is linked to Lemondrop.com’s list of “The 20 Least Feminist TV Characters”        Heidi Montag is best known as the star of MTV’s “reality” series The Hills and for her love of plastic surgery. The Lemondrop.com editors obviously disagreed with a previous New York Times review that had called Heidi “a feminist hero.” (Heidi said she was “very honored” by being given that title.)

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