“Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.”

THE FAMOUS ORIGINAL QUOTE: “Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.”        Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)        British writer, wit and lexicographer          Remark by Johnson during a discussion with friends at a tavern, first quoted by James Boswell in The Life of Samuel Johnson (1791)         In his biography of Johnson, Boswell added this note about the quote: “But let it be considered that he did not mean a real and generous love of our country, but that pretended patriotism which so many, in all ages and countries, have made a cloak of self-interest.”        Although Johnson’s dictionary was the first major dictionary of the English language and hugely significant, he poked fun at himself in this pioneering work by defining the word Lexicographer as: “A writer of dictionaries; a harmless drudge that busies himself in tracing the original, and detailing the signification of words.”

EDWARD SNOWDEN-RELATED USE #1:   “Raising the specter of terror has become the last refuge of scoundrels.”        Margaret Kimberley         Progressive journalist and blogger        Comment in a June 2013 edition of her “Freedom Rider” column. Kimberley’s piece discussed how Edward Snowden, the former NSA contractor who leaked details about the US government’s surveillance of emails and phone calls, had been vilified by President Obama and Republican and Democratic members of Congress who defended the massive, secrecy-shrouded electronic snooping program by claiming it protects Americans from terrorists.        (Cartoon by Jeff Parker.)

EDWARD SNOWDEN-RELATED USE #2: “Edward Snowden is a reminder that patriotism — as Samuel Johnson noted two and a half centuries ago — is the last refuge of a scoundrel...He may be a hero in the eyes of civil libertarians, but he has also turned around and placed those very citizens in potential jeopardy by passing secrets to China, and, perhaps Russia. Snowden originally tried to portray himself as a lonely hero speaking truth to power. He now comes off as a smug, narcissistic Benedict Arnold.”        Paul Brandus         Political journalist and columnist for The Week magazine         In his June 25, 2013 column on TheWeek.com        (Cartoon by Chappatte.)

BIERCE’S DEVILISH DEFINITION: “PATRIOTISM, n. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.”        Ambrose Bierce (1842-c. 1914)          American journalist and curmudgeon         This is one of his characteristically sarcastic definitions in The Devil’s Dictionary, first published as a book in 1906 but originally begun in his newspaper columns in 1881. Bierce defined the word Patriot as: “The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors.”        (Portrait of Ambrose Bierce painted by John H. E. Partington.)

A FAMOUS ATHEIST’S COUNTERQUOTE: “Religion is the last refuge of a scoundrel. Patriotism is next to last.”        Andy Rooney (1919-2011)        American journalist and avowed atheist, best known for his commentaries on the 60 Minutes television series         This was one of the biting remarks made in his syndicated news column about President Ronald Reagan’s January 1987 “State of the Union” speech. In that speech, Reagan ducked any mention of the huge controversy over the Iran-Contra scandal and tried to divert attention from that issue by focusing on the debate over allowing prayers in public school. (Reagan was for it, of course.)

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“The gift that keeps on giving” – updated for the era of Obamacare and Glitterbug soap…

THE FAMOUS ADVERTISING SLOGAN: “The gift that keeps on giving.”        An old advertising slogan of uncertain origin        This familiar ad slogan has been used for various products by various companies since the early 1900s. One of the first high-profile uses appears to have been by the Victor Talking Machine Company (later absorbed into RCA Victrola), to promote phonographs and records. In fact, it was trademarked for that purpose in 1925. However, the phrase predates that trademark and, along with the variation “Gifts that keep on giving,” it has been used to promote banks, kitchen appliances, Kodak cameras, flowers and many other services and products during the past century.        In recent decades, the phrase has become a cliché that’s often used for humorous effect. For example, in the 1980s, the spread of genital herpes led to the jokey take-off: “Herpes: the gift that keeps on giving.”

A REPUBLICAN CONSULTANT’S VIEW OF OBAMACARE: “It’s the gift that just keeps on giving. For Republican political strategists, having Obamacare is like being in the Beer of the Month Club. Every month, you get a new care package in the mail.”        Brad Todd        Republican media consultant        Commenting on “Obamacare” and the one-year delay in the controversial health insurance program that was recently announced by the White House. (In an article posted on Politic.com on July 3, 2013.)

MICHAEL J. FOX’S VIEW ON PARKINSON’S DISEASE: “Because Parkinson’s demanded of me that I be a better man, a better husband, father, and citizen, I often refer to it as a gift. With a nod to those who find this hard to believe, especially my fellow patients who are facing great difficulties, I add this qualifier — it’s the gift that keeps on taking...but it is a gift.”        Michael J. Fox        American actor and patient advocate         Explaining some positive ways his life was affected by having Parkinson’s Disease, in his book A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future (2010)

ERMA BOMBECK’S VARIATION: “Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”        Erma Bombeck (1927-1996)        American humorist, newspaper columnist and author        Bombeck is widely credited with coining this line, though the source is rarely cited. It comes from one of her witty newspaper columns, published in May 1987 with the headline “Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.” In the article, she wrote: “The passing of guilt from parent to child is a dying art. That’s right. The ‘gift that keeps on giving’ has tapered off because working mothers feel sorry for their children and don’t want to burden them with more pressure…We’re talking about an American tradition here that is as old as dirt. Guilt should never be considered a curse that is passed on, but rather a bonus for having children of your own where the power shifts and you have your day in the sun.”

MARY MATALIN’S VARIATION: “Humor is a profound elixir, practically a panacea. It’s the gift that keeps on giving...It’s portable and inexpensive and ingratiating. Humor breaks the ice and soothes the soul. It connects and bonds you to like-minded weirdos — a term of endearment in my book.”        Mary Matalin        Republican political consultant and media pundit        Discussing a topic she apparently agrees on with her Democratic guru husband James Carville, in her book Letters to My Daughters (2004)

THE GLITTER/HERPES ANALOGY: “Do I have any gripes about LUSH? Well... yes. One word: Glitter. It’s the herpes of the craft world; once it’s introduced into an environment, it never leaves. The gift that keeps on giving... you a rash.”         “Sara B.” (a witty former Yelp.com reviewer whose Yelp account is now closed)        In her now-deleted review of the LUSH bath and cosmetic products that contain small amounts of glitter, such as LUSH Glitterbug soap (shown at left) and LUSH Glitterbug Lotion.

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“Go ahead, make my day.”

DIRTY HARRY’S LEGENDARY CATCHPHRASE: “Go ahead, make my day.”        Clint Eastwood        American actor, director and producer        His legendary quote as the tough police officer “Dirty Harry” Callahan, in the film Sudden Impact (1983)         Harry utters these words in an early scene in the movie, during which he thwarts the attempted robbery of a restaurant by four armed thugs. He shoots and kills three of the would-be robbers and wounds another. The wounded thug grabs a waitress and points a gun at her head, thinking it will make Harry back off and let him escape. Harry calmly points his big .44 Magnum pistol at the thug and says: “Go ahead, make my day.” It clearly implies that Harry would enjoy killing him, too, if the thug provided an excuse by continuing to threaten the waitress. After pondering the remark and the steely look on Harry’s face, the thug drops his gun and surrenders.        The huge popularity of Sudden Impact made “Go ahead, make my day” a world famous catchphrase that has been used ever since, usually as a sarcastic taunt. One of the most noted uses was by President Ronald Reagan, who said in a speech on March 13, 1985: “I have my veto pen drawn and ready for any tax increase that Congress might even think of sending up. And I have only one thing to say to the tax increasers: Go ahead, make my day.”        Saying that something “made my/his/her day” — either as expression of true happiness or as a sardonic way of indicating displeasure — predates Sudden Impact. “Go ahead, make my day” was probably also used occasionally before 1983. But the movie made it a common, oft-heard idiom. Many sources attribute the inclusion of the line in Sudden Impact to Charles B. Pierce, who received a “story by” credit in the film. Pierce claimed he adapted it from a warning his father gave him frequently when he was growing up.

A RECENT USE RELATED TO A SUPREME COURT CASE: “Clint Eastwood: Go ahead, make my gay friends happy by allowing them to get married.”        Headline for a story posted on the Conservative website DailyCaller.com on Feb. 28, 2013        This snarky post lamented the fact that Eastwood was one of dozens of prominent Republicans who signed a legal brief urging the US Supreme Court to strike down Prop 8, the California ballot initiative that banned gay marriage, and affirm that marriage is a basic matter of equal rights under the US Constitution. In a landmark decision issued on June 26, 2013, the Supreme Court did just that, making it a banner day for all people who supported marriage equality.          Eastwood eloquently expressed his personal views on same sex marriage and people who opposed it in an interview published in the October 2011 issue of GQ magazine. He told GQ: “These people who are making a big deal out of gay marriage? I don’t give a fuck about who wants to get married to anybody else! Why not?! We’re making a big deal out of things we shouldn't be making a deal out of...They go on and on with all this bullshit about ‘sanctity’— don't give me that sanctity crap! Just give everybody the chance to have the life they want.”

A MOVIE LINE THAT’S READS FUNNIER THAN IT IS ON SCREEN: “Go ahead, make me gay.”        The catchphrase of “Flirty Harry”        Flirty Harry, originally a minor character in The Underground Comedy Movie (1999), was resurrected and made a lead character in the more recent film, InAPPropriate Comedy (2013), both of which were directed by comedian Vince Offer.        Offer played Harry in The Underground Comedy Movie. Actor Adrien Brody is Harry in InAPPropriate Comedy.        Both films were panned by critics and bombed at the box office.

THE HELL’S KITCHEN VARIATION: “Go ahead, make my dinner!”        An icanhascheezburger.com version featuring the world’s toughest chef, Gordon Ramsay.

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“Give me liberty or give me death!” – or maybe a tax exemption, immortality, a Benz, or beer…

THE FAMED (AND POSSIBLY FALSE) REVOLUTIONARY WAR QUOTE: “Give me liberty or give me death!”        Attributed to Patrick Henry (1736-1799)        American attorney, politician and Founding Father        According to tradition, Henry said these words at the end of a speech he made in the Virginia House of Burgesses on March 23, 1775.        It’s true that, on that date, Henry gave an impassioned speech in favor of mobilizing the Virginia militia to fight against the British at a meeting of the Virginia House of Burgesses. But neither Henry nor anyone else wrote down what he said at the time. Forty-two years later, a posthumous biography of Henry included a “reconstructed” version of the speech, based largely on the recollection of one aging judge who’d heard it. This popular biography, written by William Wirt, was the first source to put “Give me liberty or give me death!” in Henry’s mouth. It made the quote legendary and many books and websites have republished Wirt’s recreation of the speech as if it were an actual contemporary recording of what Henry said. Modern quote scholars like Fred Shapiro, editor of The Yale Book of Quotations, and Ralph Keyes, author of The Quote Verifier, view Wirt’s version of Henry’s speech with skepticism and doubt that Henry actually uttered his famous alleged quotation. (For more background, see this post on my This Day in Quotes site.)

THE MODERN TEA PARTY VARIATION: “Give me tax exempt 501(c)4 or give me death!”       Matt Davies        Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial cartoonist for Tribune Media Services and The Hearst Newspaper Group        Caption of a June 2013 political cartoon by Davies lampooning the outrage of conservative Republicans over revelations that the IRS had challenged requests of Tea Party groups who wanted the tax exempt status supposedly reserved for organizations that are “operated exclusively for the promotion of social welfare.”

THE FIRESIGN THEATRE VERSION: “Give Me Immortality or Give Me Death”        The Firesign Theatre        American comedy troupe        Title of a Firesign album title released in 1998 by Rhino Records

THE LITIGIOUS EX-MISTRESS VERSION: “Give Me Hush Money Or Give Me Benz!!”        Headline of a TMZ.com story about basketball star Stephon Marbury and Thurayyah Mitchell, “the personal chef he boinked, while he was married, back in 2006.”        According to the story, Marbury had promised to pay Mitchell $900,000 to keep quiet about the affair, but stopped making payments around the $600,000 mark. Mitchell took him to court and a judge ordered him to pony up the remaining $331,584.50. When Mitchell didn’t pay up in a timely fashion, Mitchell went back to court, asking that Marbury be forced to give her his Mercedes-Benz and other assets to settle the debt.

AL BUNDY’S GREAT WINE VS. BEER RANT: “Americans don’t like wine. We like beer. Ice cold. Ice cold, best in a bottle, but find in any way you can get it, belching, burping, wake-up-in-a-pool-of-it beer. So let’s show them...Let’s strike a blow anywhere they dine alfresco, anywhere they eat Brie cheese, and anywhere they wear their pants up high around their waist in the European way. The only thing Americans understand is mindless Tom and Jerry cartoon violence. So, let’s go kick some elite butt. Give me beer, or give me death!”        Al Bundy (played by actor Ed O’Neill)         Part of a speech Al gives in the “Chicago Wine Party” episode of the American comedy TV show Married with Children (Season 7, Ep. 7, Nov. 1, 1992)        In this episode, he makes the speech to a group of fellow beer fans who oppose a City Council plan to increase the local tax on beer but not on wine.

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“The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.”

THE FAMOUS MISQUOTE: “The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.”        Attributed to Mark Twain (1835-1910)        American humorist, journalist, novelist and social critic        According to a widely-repeated legend, Twain made this quip when he heard there were rumors he had died and that one newspaper had printed his obituary. Another common variation of the line uses the words “…have been greatly exaggerated.” Sometimes the quip is given as “Reports of my death are grossly exaggerated.”        However, all of the commonly-heard versions using “greatly exaggerated” or “grossly exaggerated” are misquotes.        As noted in many scholarly books of quotations and explained in a post on my This Day in Quotes blog, what Twain actually said was “The report of my death was an exaggeration.”        The origin of the more familiar misquote versions of Twain’s response seems to be an embellished anecdote in Chapter 197 of Albert Bigelow Paine’s biography of Twain, which was published in 1912, two years after Twain’s death.

A RECENT PARAPHRASE BY PRESIDENT OBAMA: “As Mark Twain said, you know, rumors of my demise may be a little exaggerated at this point.”        President Barack Obama        His response during a White House press conference on April 30, 2013, when a reporter asked if he still had the political “juice” needed to get his legislative proposals passed by Congress, in light of his recent high profile failures to get gun control and budget legislation approved.

THE DICK CHENEY INVERSE PARAPHRASE: “The rumors that Cheney is alive are somewhat exaggerated. It’s Mark Twain in reverse.”        Hans Blix        Swedish diplomat and politician        His answer in a 2004 interview in the New York Times when asked if US Vice President Dick Cheney had seemed more “wooden” than President George W. Bush during a meeting Blix had with them prior to the Second Gulf War (a.k.a. the 2003 invasion of Iraq).        Blix led the international weapons inspection teams charged with determining if Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, a claim Bush and Cheney pushed as the main reason to invade the country. As Blix pointed out, no WMDs were found. Of course, this fact was was dismissed by Bush and Cheney.

THE SOAP OPERA VERSION: “Rumors of my chastity have been greatly exaggerated.”        Donna Martin, a character played by actress Tori Spelling in the TV series Beverly Hills, 90210        One of her wisecracks in the “Reunion” episode (Season 8, Ep. 27, first aired April 15, 1998)

THE SPACE OPERA VERSION: “Reports of my assimilation have been greatly exaggerated.”        Captain Jean-Luc Picard, played by actor Patrick Stewart        A quip Picard makes in the movie Star Trek: First Contact (1996), in which some crew members of the USS Enterprise are “assimilated” by the part-machine, part-organic, hive-like life form(s) called the Borg.

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