“Never let them see you sweat.”

ADVICE FROM THE CLASSIC COMMERCIALS: “Never let them see you sweat.”        Tagline used in TV commercials for Dry Idea antiperspirants         This well-known "neverism" (a term coined for by quote maven Dr. Mardy Grothe), was popularized by a series of TV ads for Dry Idea that ran from the mid-1980s to the early 1990s. The series featured various celebrities, including fashion designer Donna Karan, model and actress Lauren Hutton, football coach Dan Reeves and comedian Elayne Boosler. Each celebrity talks about three “nevers” for their particular profession. The third never mentioned in each commercial is: “Never let them see you sweat.”        For example, Karan says: “There are three nevers in fashion design. Never confuse fad with fashion. Never forget it’s your name on every label. And, when showing your lines to the press, never let them see you sweat.”        The catchy slogan is credited to veteran ad man Phil Slott, who was then at the BBDO agency. Slott was especially hot at the time, having also recently coined the Navy recruiting ad slogan: “It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure.”

ADVICE FOR MEN: “At a health club, you could meet business contacts, friends, and, most important, future dates. So, ‘never let them see you sweat’ too much! P.S. Have your hairy back waxed, and no grunting like a farm animal when you’re lifting heavy weights.”        Frank Vincent        American actor, musician, writer and producer        Some of the manly tips in his 2007 book A Guy's Guide to Being a Man’s Man (written with Steven Priggé)

ADVICE FOR WOMEN:          “Some people say, ‘Never let them see you cry.’ I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.”        Tina Fey         American actor, comedian, writer, producer, and playwright            In her best-selling autobiographical book Bossypants (2011)

ADVICE FOR TEENAGERS: “Never let them see you sweat. If you lose your cool, you lose your power. Where parents are concerned, indifference is your greatest weapon. If they’re having temper tantrums and laying down all sorts of ridiculous rules, don’t argue. Don’t show any reaction at all. This drives them nuts. When they’re finished, calmly suggest that it might be better to have this discussion when they’re feeling more rational.”        Sandra and Harry Choron        In their Book of Lists for Teens (2002)        The Chorons include this in the list “10 Tips for Raising Well-Adjusted Parents.”

ADVICE FOR SPIES: Q (actor Desmond Llewelyn): “I’ve always tried to teach you two things. First, never let them see you bleed.” James Bond (Pierce Brosnan): “And the second?” Q: “Always have an escape plan.”        In the film The World Is Not Enough (1999)

ADVICE FOR STONERS: “The best way to hide from people that you’re high is to never let them see you sober.”        Comment posted by “tyorke” on GrassCity.com            In the discussion thread “Are you a functioning stoner?” (Art by R. Crumb.)

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“You can’t handle the truth!” – from Jack Nicholson to Zero Dark Thirty to Liz Lemon’s boobies…

JACK NICHOLSON’S FAMOUS MOVIE RANT: “You can’t handle the truth!”           Jack Nicholson (as Col. Nathan R. Jessep)         Nicholson’s shouted response to Tom Cruise (playing Lt. Daniel Kaffee) in the movie A Few Good Men (1992), after Cruise tells him “I want the truth!” during the climactic court-martial scene.        After yelling his now iconic line, Nicholson’s character Col. Jessep goes on a long rant that unwittingly leads to an admission of his culpability in the death of Marine PFC William Santiago at the American military facility in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Col. Jessep felt Santiago had disrespected the chain of command and wasn’t living up to Marine traditions. So, he secretly ordered two other Marines to subject Santiago to a “Code Red,” a term for harsh, unsanctioned physical punishment. This unintentionally caused Santiago’s death and led to a military trial. During intense questioning by Kaffee, Jessep ultimately admits he ordered the Code Red, but not before giving a riveting speech about the need for tough military personnel who are willing to do what’s needed to protect American civilians.        Here’s a transcript of their memorable exchange:       Jessep (Jack Nicholson): You want answers?       Kaffee (Tom Cruise): I think I’m entitled to them.       Jessep: You want answers?       Kaffee: I want the truth!     Jessep: You can’t handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said ‘thank you’ and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to!    Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?    Jessep: I did the job that —       Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?    Jessep: You’re goddamn right I did!

THE MOVIE AWARDS SNUB VERSION: “Zero Dark Thirty...earned five Academy Award nominations, including Best Motion Picture. But director Kathryn Bigelow, the first woman to win a Best Director Oscar for her 2008 war drama The Hurt Locker, didn’t get a nod for her efforts...‘She showed what was really happening,’ [Producer Madison] Jones said. ‘Maybe sometimes we can’t handle the truth.’ The Academy did not respond to a request for comment.”        Hollie McKay        Pop Culture/Entertainment Columnist at FoxNews.com        In a report on the Academy Award nominations for movies released in 2012         Kathryn Bigelow’s gutsy film Zero Dark Thirty created an uncomfortable moral dilemma for many liberals, like some of the Hollywood set that votes on who gets Academy Awards. The movie graphically depicts the fact that torture (which they oppose) was used on Muslim prisoners by the American military to gain information that helped in the search for and elimination of Osama Bin Laden (a goal they supported). This is suspected to be the reason why Bigelow was left out of the Academy’s nominations for Best Director.

HOMER SIMPSON’S MULTIPLE-MOVIE QUOTE RANT: “Look Marge, you don't know what it’s like - I’m the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I’m not out of order. You’re out of order. The whole freakin’ system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth? You can’t HANDLE the truth. ‘Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend’s face, you’ll know what to do. Forget it, Marge, it’s Chinatown.”          Homer Simpson (voiced by Dan Castellaneta)         Homer’s rant in the “Secrets of a Successful Marriage” episode of The Simpsons, first aired on May 19, 1994. In addition to using lines from A Few Good Men, his rant includes references to famous quotes from the movies ...And Justice for All (1979), Patton (1970) and Chinatown (1974).

THE BIMBO BARB VARIATION: “To call a woman who is intellectually-challenged and painfully inexperienced in politics a bimbo isn’t sexist, it’s simply the truth. In fact, to argue that a dumb woman shouldn’t be called bimbo is sexist — it implies that women are too fragile to handle the truth.”        Robert Paul Reyes        Liberal journalist and blogger        In a post about Sarah Palin on “The Student Operated Press” website, February 28th, 2011

THE LIZ LEMON BOOBIES VERSION: Liz Lemon (actress Tina Fey): “You want the truth, Kenneth, you want the truth?” Kenneth Parcell (actor Jack McBrayer): “I can’t handle the truth!” Liz: “There is an adult picture of me on that phone...It’s a boobies picture, Kenneth, and I only kept it because for once they were both pointing in the same direction.”        In the “Larry King” episode of 30 Rock (Season 3, Ep. 12), first aired on February 26, 2009

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