“Take care of the pence, and the pounds will take care of themselves.”

THE FAMOUS PENCE AND POUNDS QUOTE: “Take care of the pence, and the pounds will take care of themselves.”         William Lowndes (1652-1724)        British politician        Quoted by Lord Chesterfield (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield) in a letter to his son, dated Feb. 5, 1750

DOROTHY PARKER’S COUNTERQUOTE: “Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.”         Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)        American writer and critic        A quip widely attributed to Parker, though possibly originated by Oscar Wilde

NOEL COWARD’S PANSY ANECDOTE: “Admiral of the Fleet Sir Dudley Pound brought his boat in...and Noel [Coward] and friends — Doris Casterlosse, Ivor Novello, Douglas Fairbanks and Lady Ashley — went aboard for parties. Lady Casterlosse and Coward were given an open guest list by Sir Dudley and Lady Pound for one party. Casterlosse confided, ‘Noel, I have a dreadful feeling we've asked too many queer people.’ Coward reassured her, ‘If we take care of the pansies, the Pounds will take care of themselves.’”        Noel Coward (1899-1973)        British playwright and composer         From Philip Hoare’s book Noël Coward: A Biography (1998)

AN AVID GARDENER’S ADVICE: “If you take care of your peonies, the dahlias will look after themselves.”         Franklin P. Adams (1881-1960)         American writer and avid gardener         Adams’ variously-reported response when asked how he grew the prize dahlias in his garden. (The pun was probably already in use among avid gardeners.)

HARLAN ELLISON’S ADVICE: “A very few, as heroes, patriots, martyrs, reformers in the great sense, and men, serve the state with their consciences also, and so necessarily resist it for the most part; and they are commonly treated as enemies by it. That is the heart of it. Now begin in the middle, and later learn the beginning; the end will take care of itself.”          Harlan Ellison (b. 1943)         American author and screenwriter        In his famous, non-linear science fiction story, “Repent, Harlequin!” Said the Ticktockman (1965)

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“You got some ‘splainin’ to do!”

THE “I LOVE LUCY” CATCHPHRASE THAT RICKY NEVER SAID: “Lucy! You got some ‘splainin’ to do!”        Catchphrase associated with the TV show I Love Lucy (1951-1957)        This famous line is commonly assumed to have been said to Lucille Ball by Desi Arnaz, as the character Ricky Ricardo, on the I Love Lucy show. Most people think he said it regularly, with a Cuban accent that turned explaining into ‘splainin,’ when he confronted Lucy about some wacky thing she’d done. However, as noted by fans who’ve watched every episode and by other sources, Arnaz never actually said the line in any episode of the show. (He did say a few similar lines, such as “OK, Lucy, ‘splain” and “All right, start ‘splainin.’”) At some point, an unknown person created the familiar catchphrase and it caught on, becoming part of our language. Today, saying a person or entity “has some ‘splainin’ to do” is a humorous way of suggesting that they have done (or may have done) something stupid, hypocritical, illegal or otherwise embarrassing.

ABOUT THAT END OF THE WORLD THING: “To paraphrase Ricky Ricardo, Harold Camping has got some ‘splaining to do...The Judgment Day has come. And it has gone. And we’re all still here.”        Matt Butts        Freelance writer and blogger        In a post on his blog, The Mind of Matt, May 22, 2011

The Daily Show - To Kill a Mockingturd - Pervez Musharraf Lies About Osama bin Laden Jon Stewart on The Daily Show

ABOUT OSAMA HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT IN PAKISTAN: “It seems to me that Pakistan's leaders, including former President Musharraf, have some ‘splainin’ to do.”        Jon Stewart        Comedian and host of The Daily Show        Commenting on the revelation that Osama Bin Laden had been “hiding” in Pakistan, in a segment on the May 2, 2011 edition of The Daily Show.

THE DONALD TRUMP STFU VARIATION: “Yup, now we know the real reason he dropped out! He would have had a lot of ‘splainin to do.”        Post on the Donald Trump Will You Please Just STFU Facebook page, May 20, 2011          This comment, posted after Trump dropped out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination, was linked to news about allegations that “Trump University” uses deceptive trade practices, misrepresents its ability to place students in jobs and has poor quality of instruction.

THE SPERMINATOR VARIATION: “The Terminator turned Governator now Impregnator has some splaining to do!!!”         A recent Facebook comment on the People magazine report that Arnold Schwarzenegger had a secret affair and love child with a household staff member .

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Further reading about famous misquotes and spurious quotes:

“A thing of beauty is a joy forever.”

THE ORIGIN OF THE FAMOUS SAYING: “A thing of beauty is a joy forever.”        John Keats (1795-1821)        English lyrical poet        This well-known quote is the opening line from Keats’ first long poem, Endymion (1818)         The poem tells the story of a young Greek shepherd who falls in love with the moon goddess Selene. Books of quotations often include the first five lines of the Endymion, which further expound on the famed opening sentence:        “A thing of beauty is a joy forever:        Its loveliness increases; it will never        Pass into nothingness; but still will keep        A bower quiet for us, and a sleep        Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.”

TYRION LANNISTER’S VERSION: “A dead enemy is a joy forever.”        A quip made by the character Tyrion Lannister in A Storm of Swords (2000), the third book in George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series of adult fantasy novels.         The intelligent, irreverent dwarf Tyrion is memorably played by actor Peter Dinklage in the HBO adaptation of the first book in the series, Game of Thrones.

WISDOM FROM GERALDINE: “You don’t have to be a thing of beauty to be a joy forever.”        Geraldine Jones          One of many great observations made by Geraldine, a character played by American comedian Flip Wilson, on The Flip Wilson Show (1970-1974).

A DISILLUSIONED LOVER’S LAMENT: “Face it: a thing of beauty is a joy till sunrise...Then WHAM BAM you’re writing letters to Dear Abby and you're burning black candles at midnight.”        Harvey Fierstein        American actor, playwright and screenwriter        Part of Fierstein’s opening monologue, as the character Arnold Beckoff, in Torch Song Trilogy, the 1988 movie adapted from his award-winning play of the same title.

THE BENNY HILL LOVER’S MOTTO: “A Dirty Mind is a Joy Forever!”        Title of a Facebook group created “For all of those who love to have a dirty mind and can prove it.”

THE HISPANIC STEREOTYPE VARIATION: “Climates like those of Mexico and Spain develop a race that finds work tiresome, a ‘thing of duty is a bore forever.’”        John Wesley Hanson (1823-1901)        American writer and Universalist minister        In his book about Southern California, The American Italy, published in 1896. (I wonder what Hanson would say about the recent study showing that Mexicans work more hours per day than people in any other country in the world.)

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A highly-recommended, highly-entertaining new book of quotations: NEVERISMS by Dr. Mardy Grothe Click this link to read the recent review of this book on ThisDayinQuotes.com

“What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas” – or maybe not…

THE (IN)FAMOUS AD SLOGAN: “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.”        Ad slogan used since 2005 by the Las Vegas Convention and Visitors Authority         This famous nudge-nudge, wink-wink line evolved from the earlier advertising slogan “What Happens Here, Stays Here,” created in 2002 by the Authority’s ad agency R&R Partners, Inc. Both versions suggest (not very subtly) that people can have sexual liaisons or do other wild and crazy things on vacation trips to Las Vegas and keep it secret. The “What Happens in Vegas...” version became the subject of fierce trademark litigation after it began showing up on “unauthorized” t-shirts and other souvenirs. Of course, the basic linguistic formula used in the Vegas ad slogans is not new. For example, a much older saying among traveling salesmen is “What happens on the road, stays on the road.” And, a traditional variation long used by musicians is “What happens on tour, stays on tour.”

THE HANGOVER MOVIE VERSION: “Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That shit’ll come back with you.”        Actor Jeffrey Tambor, as the character Sid Garner, in The Hangover (2009)

THE BRANSON HANGOVER VERSION: “You can never leave Branson – it will always stay with you. I’ve hit an All American Wall, suffering from a bad case of Red State Madness – like a hangover but without the drinking, as I shit red, white and blue with a constant dry taste of Jesus in my mouth, amidst bad entertainment, bad food, fat, old Americans and utter lack of culture. As they say, ‘What happens in Branson stays in Branson, especially with Our Lord Jesus Christ looking over it.’”          Comedian and writer Harmon Leon        In his quirky travel guide National Lampoon Road Trip USA (2007)        Commenting on the “family vacation destination” tourist town Branson, Missouri, where you can see shows like Noah: The Musical

THE FML VERSION: “Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand.”        Posted by “NeverDrinkingAgain” on the FMLife.com website

THE KIDDY VERSION: “What Happens in Preschool Stays in Preschool”        Slogan used on a line of clothing for preschool kids and their parents

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Further reading: books about famous advertising slogans…

“What does not kill me makes me stronger” – the movie star edition…

THE FAMOUS PHILOSOPHER’S QUOTE: “What does not kill me makes me stronger.” (“Was mich nicht umbringt macht mich stärker.”)        Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)        German philosopher and poet        In the “Maxims and Arrows” section of his book Twilight of the Idols (1888)        This famous line by Nietzsche has been translated and paraphrased in various ways, often with “Whatever” or “That which” in place of the word “What” and “destroy” or some other verb in place of “kill.” Nietzsche used a similar line in Ecce Homo (written 1888, published 1908), the last book he wrote before going completely insane. In the chapter of Ecce Homo titled “Why I Am So Wise,” he wrote that a person who has “turned out well” could be recognized by certain attributes, such as a knack for exploiting bad accidents to his advantage. Regarding such a man, Nietzsche said: “What does not kill him makes him stronger.” (“Was ihn nicht umbringt, macht ihn stärker.”)

MEL’S STRENGTH-THROUGH-HUMILIATION SYSTEM: “You ask anybody what their number one fear is and it’s public humiliation. Multiply that on a global scale and that’s what I've been through. It changes you and makes you one tough motherf**ker. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It’s really that simple.”        Mel Gibson         In a January 2010 interview in The Telegraph         Commenting on what he learned after the publicity flap over his 2006 arrest for DUI and the anti-Semitic remarks he made to the cops who arrested him. Mel told The Telegraph the incident had a positive effect on his life and he had learned from his mistakes. The interview came out before his highly-publicized, ranting attacks on his former Oksana Grigorieva, which undoubtedly made Mel even stronger (and even less marketable as an actor).

THE SHARED PHILOSPHY OF CONAN AND CLAIREE: “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”        Quote shown at the beginning of the movie Conan the Barbarian (1982) and also used as a quip by Clairee Belcher (actress Olympia Dukakis) in the movie Steel Magnolias (1989).

THE JOKER’S VARIATION: “I believe whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you stranger.”        Heath Ledger, as The Joker, in the movie The Dark Knight (2008)

ANGELINA’S VARIATION: “quod me nutrit   me destruit.”        Latin saying tattooed on Angelina Jolie’s lower abdomen        In English, it means “What nourishes me also destroys me.”

THE SCREW YOU VERSION: “Whatever hurts you makes me stronger.”         Actress Leslie Stefanson, as Capt. Elisabeth Campbell, in the movie The General’s Daughter (1999)

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Further reading: books by and about Nietzsche: