February 24, 2012

Why laws, iPads, writing and porn are like sausages…


THE FAMOUS SAUSAGE SIMILE:

“Laws are like sausages. It’s better not to see them being made.”
       Traditionally attributed to
Otto von Bismarck (1815-1898)
       German statesman
       Bismarck is
widely credited with this old political saw, sometimes in the form “If you like laws and sausages, you should never watch either one being made.”
       However, as noted by authoritative sources like the
Quote Investigator site, there’s no proof Bismarck ever uttered or penned either variation. It appears to be a famous misquote that has been wrongly attributed to him for decades.
      
Many websites cite a quote by the 19th Century American poet John Godfrey Saxe as a possible origin. In an 1869 lecture, Saxe said: “Laws, like sausages, cease to inspire respect in proportion as we know how they are made.” However, Saxe’s version seems to imply that his audience was already familiar with the basic “laws are like sausages…” formulation.


AN IPAD APPLICATION:

“iPads are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made....We in the West don’t really seem to care that Chinese employees work under awful conditions and die in appalling numbers — unless they make shiny things that we use. We claim we don’t want people to suffer, but in fact we just don’t want our iProducts tainted by that suffering. Isn’t that more than a little hypocritical?”
      
Jon Evans
       Canadian novelist, journalist and software engineer
       Discussing recent revelations about the brutal working conditions of Chinese workers who make iPads and other Apple products,
in his column on the TechCrunch.com site


GEORGE R.R. MARTIN’S VARIATION:

“Writing is like sausage making in my view; you’ll all be happier in the end if you just eat the final product without knowing what’s gone into it.”
      
George R.R. Martin
       American author and screenwriter, known especially for his A Song of Ice and Fire fantasy novels (the basis for HBO’s Game of Thrones series)
       Remark to his fans
in a June 2009 post on his “Not a Blog” blog


THE PORN VARIATION:

“Sex Pigs: Why Porn is Like Sausage, or the Truth is That – Behind the Scenes – Porn Is Not Very Sexy.”
      
Benjamin Scuglia
       L.A.-based writer and editor of Inside Porn Magazine
       Title of
a widely-cited article he wrote for the Journal of Homosexuality in 2004

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February 7, 2012

“Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” – and curves and bonds (among other things)…


THE BOOK TITLE THAT BECAME A SAYING:

“Gentlemen Prefer Blondes”
       Anita Loos (1893-1981)
       U.S. novelist, playwright and screenwriter
       This is the familiar short title of Loos’ famous satiric book, first published in 1925. The full title is Gentlemen Prefer Blondes: The Illuminating Diary of a Professional Lady.
       Loos’ novel is the faux diary of Lorelei Lee, a young, blonde “
golddigger” who goes on the hunt for a rich husband in the U.S. and Europe with her friend Dorothy Shaw. The bestselling novel was adapted as a Broadway musical in 1949, starring Carol Channing as Lorelei. In 1953, that was turned into a movie musical with Marilyn Monroe as Lorelei (wowing audiences with, among other things, her iconic performance of the song “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend”).  
       The phrase “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” became a modern proverbial saying that has inspired many variations and quips. One was written by Loos herself. Her 1927 sequel to Gentlemen Prefer Blondes was titled But Gentlemen Marry Brunettes. According to
some recent public opinion surveys, the majority of men may indeed prefer brunettes over blondes, except when they’re out on the town (or perhaps out of town without their wives).


GINGER ROGERS’ COUNTERQUOTE:

“It isn’t that gentlemen really prefer blondes, it’s just that we look dumber.” 
       Ginger Rogers (playing the character Sherry Martin) 
       One of Ginger’s quips in the 1936 comedy film Follow the Fleet


THE POSITIVE BODY IMAGE VERSION:

“Gentlemen prefer curves.” 
       The name of a popular Tumblr blog 
       The blog is intended to be “inspirational to fuller-figured women (and men) who have struggled with their weight, and their body image, to give them confidence and to show that they are beautiful and sexy!”


THE NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE VERSION:

“Gentlemen do not prefer scarecrows. A very thin woman may look well in clothes, but without them she doesn’t offer much to hold on to.”
       Brigitte Nioche 
       New York-based fashion consultant, writer and former model
       A remark in her 2004 book Dress to Impress that might be a revelation to supermodel Kate Moss, who once infamously said “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”


A NOT-SO-FUNNY QUOTE THAT SOME PEOPLE THINK IS A JOKE:

“That gentlemen prefer blondes is due to the fact that, apparently, pale hair, delicate skin and an infantile expression represent the very apex of frailty which every man longs to violate.”
       Alexander King (1899-1965)
       Viennese-born artist, humorist and wit who was a frequent talk show guest on talk shows in the late 1950s and early 1960s (such as The Tonight Show with Jack Paar)
       Quoted in
The Jumbo Book of Blonde Jokes (2004)


THE AFRICAN AMERICAN VERSION:

“Gentlemen Prefer Bronze”
       Howard Morehead (c. 1930-2003)
       Pioneering African American photographer
       Title of his 1964 book of glamour girl photos featuring beautiful black female models
       Morehead was one of the first professional photographers to break the color barrier in the entertainment industry. He’s best known for the photos he took of famous black musicians like Billie Holiday and Ray Charles and black leaders like Nelson Mandela, which are featured in
the California African American Museum and book titled “I Shot Ray Charles”. Morehead also took “cheesecake” photos of black models for calendars and men’s magazines, many of which were collected in Gentlemen Prefer Bronze. The book was advertised in many men’s magazines of the era and was quite popular. It’s now a hard-to-find collectors’ item.


THE WALL STREET VARIATION:

“Gentlemen prefer bonds.”
       Andrew Mellon (1855-1937)
       American banker and philanthropist who served as U.S. Secretary of the Treasury from 1921 to 1932
       Although some sources attribute this quip to rich industrialist Andrew Carnegie, it is most often attributed to Mellon. He appears to have said it in 1929, when stocks were still soaring to absurd levels prior to the great stock market crash that occurred in October of that year. In a seemingly prescient comment on the pre-crash runaway market, Mellon reportedly said: “This market will end when ‘Gentlemen prefer bonds.’”


THE MADISON AVENUE VARIATION:

“Gentlemen prefer Hanes.”
       Hanes pantyhose advertising slogan  
       The cleverly suggestive line used in a jingle and as a tagline in ads for Hanes “Ultra Sheer” pantyhose for women. According to the Encyclopedia of Major Marketing Campaigns, t
he ad campaign with this slogan ran from 1973 to 1989.

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February 5, 2012

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” – but you may eat your own words…


THE INFAMOUS KATE MOSS QUOTE:

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”
      
Kate Moss
       British Supermodel 
       Her controversial response when asked if she had a personal motto, in an
interview with Women’s Wear Daily, November 13, 2009     


THE STOP-TALKING-OUT-OF-YER-ASS COUNTERQUOTE:

“Kate Moss is talking out of her Size Zero backside. Having been in the industry for so long, she knows the impact her comment will have on vulnerable young women.” 
      
Denise Van Outen
       British actress, singer and TV celebrity 
      
Her comment on Moss’s quote, in a story published in The Sun, November 19, 2009


THE CINNABON LOVER’S COUNTERQUOTE:

“She [Moss] may have a point, but then again she's probably never had a Gino’s East deep-dish sausage-patty pizza or a Cinnabon with extra frosting.”
      
Jerry Davich
       American journalist 
       An observation in
his column in the Post-Tribune, November 21, 2009


THE COCAINE KATE COUNTERQUOTE:

“In 2005, Kate Moss was all over the news because of being video-taped partaking in the use of cocaine...Kate might very well have been saying that ‘nothing tastes as good as a bunch of Peruvian flake, especially since there are no calories in cocaine.’ The point is that Kate Moss long ago demonstrated that popular culture should not look to her as a role model.”
      
Mark Rubi
       American journalist and blogger 
       His take on Moss, in
his column on the Examiner.com website, Nov. 22, 2009


THE CATTY CATWALK COUNTERQUOTE:

“Why would anyone listen to her because it’s not as if wearing clothes is much of a skill...And walking down a catwalk with a stupid vacuous expression on your coupon is even less of a skill…So nothing tastes as good as skinny feels? How would she know because when was the last time she tasted anything?”
      
Rikki Brown
       Scottish tabloid columnist, blogger and author  
       In
a column in The Scottish Sun, Nov. 23, 2009

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