“God helps them that help themselves.”

FRANKLIN’S FAMOUS VERSION OF AN ANCIENT SAYING: “God helps them that help themselves.”        Popularized by Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)        American statesman, scientist, author and publisher        Franklin included this in Poor Richard’s Almanack, which he published from 1732 to 1758. Its appearance in his widely-read almanac helped popularize the saying in America, but Franklin didn’t coin it. There are various other earlier versions. “God helps those who help themselves” was used in 1698 by British politician Algernon Syney. Other variations date back as far as Aesop’s Fables, written in the sixth century BC. The moral of Aesop’s fable “Hercules and the Waggoner” (sometimes spelled Wagoner or Wagoneer) is traditionally translated as “The gods help them that help themselves.” It is widely, but wrongly, believed that “God helps them that help themselves” comes from the Bible. In fact, it doesn’t.

THE ANTI-THIEVERY COUNTERQUOTE: “God never helps those who are caught helping themselves.”        A humorous American proverb of unknown origin        Cited in A Dictionary of American Proverbs

THE THIEF’S COUNTER-COUNTERQUOTE: “God may not help those who help themselves, but you’ll notice he don’t stand in front of you with no flaming sword and say, ‘What you got there?’”        Stephen Longstreet (pen name of Henri Weiner; 1907-2002)        American author, artist and scriptwriter         Comment by a character in his novel All or Nothing (1983)

THE RICH MAN’S GOSPEL: “In bestowing charity, the main consideration should be to help those who will help themselves...Neither the individual nor the race is improved by alms giving. Those worthy of assistance, except in rare cases, seldom require assistance.”        Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919)        American businessman and philanthropist who was the richest man in the world in his day        This quotes comes from Carnegie’s essay “Wealth,” fist published in the North American Review in June 1889, then included in his book The Gospel of Wealth (1891).

THE EURODANCE RAP VARIATION: “What we need to do is take ourselves from the shelf ‘Cause God won’t help those who won't help themselves While you sit on your asses with rose colored glasses, hey – Brutes build troops and masses, believe me.”        Snap!        A revolving group of Eurodance musicians and rappers based in Germany         Lyrics from their song “Angel (Rays of Love)” (2004)

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“Take care of the pence, and the pounds will take care of themselves.”

THE FAMOUS PENCE AND POUNDS QUOTE: “Take care of the pence, and the pounds will take care of themselves.”         William Lowndes (1652-1724)        British politician        Quoted by Lord Chesterfield (Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield) in a letter to his son, dated Feb. 5, 1750

DOROTHY PARKER’S COUNTERQUOTE: “Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.”         Dorothy Parker (1893-1967)        American writer and critic        A quip widely attributed to Parker, though possibly originated by Oscar Wilde

NOEL COWARD’S PANSY ANECDOTE: “Admiral of the Fleet Sir Dudley Pound brought his boat in...and Noel [Coward] and friends — Doris Casterlosse, Ivor Novello, Douglas Fairbanks and Lady Ashley — went aboard for parties. Lady Casterlosse and Coward were given an open guest list by Sir Dudley and Lady Pound for one party. Casterlosse confided, ‘Noel, I have a dreadful feeling we've asked too many queer people.’ Coward reassured her, ‘If we take care of the pansies, the Pounds will take care of themselves.’”        Noel Coward (1899-1973)        British playwright and composer         From Philip Hoare’s book Noël Coward: A Biography (1998)

AN AVID GARDENER’S ADVICE: “If you take care of your peonies, the dahlias will look after themselves.”         Franklin P. Adams (1881-1960)         American writer and avid gardener         Adams’ variously-reported response when asked how he grew the prize dahlias in his garden. (The pun was probably already in use among avid gardeners.)

HARLAN ELLISON’S ADVICE: “A very few, as heroes, patriots, martyrs, reformers in the great sense, and men, serve the state with their consciences also, and so necessarily resist it for the most part; and they are commonly treated as enemies by it. That is the heart of it. Now begin in the middle, and later learn the beginning; the end will take care of itself.”          Harlan Ellison (b. 1943)         American author and screenwriter        In his famous, non-linear science fiction story, “Repent, Harlequin!” Said the Ticktockman (1965)

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“First, do no harm.” (“Primum non nocere.”)

THE FAMOUS ALLEGED DOCTORS’ OATH: “First, do no harm.” (“Primum non nocere.”)        Commonly attributed to the ancient Greek physician Hippocrates (c. 460 B.C. - c. 377 B.C.)        It is widely — and wrongly — believed that this phrase was written by Hippocrates and is part of the “The Hippocratic Oath” that doctors take. In reality, the Hippocratic Oath was written by the early followers of Hippocrates, not by Hippocrates himself. Moreover, the phrase “First, do no harm” (“Primum non nocere” in Latin) does not appear in the original version or modern versions of the Hippocratic Oath and there is no legal requirement for doctors to take this oath, though it is a tradition at most medical schools.

THE ALLEGED ALTERNATE OATH OF SOME DOCTORS: “First, do no harm. Second, leave no wallet with anything other than a condom in it.”        From a post by the anonymous author of The Enlightening Nonsense blog        His view on the high fees charged by some physicians and medical clinics

AN ECO-MINDED BUDDHIST’S CODE: “First, do no harm; second, do what you can to relieve suffering. It’s bound to be a slow process and is part of what the Dalai Lama has called ‘ethics for a new millennium.’” Everyone must take responsibility for the well-being of the planet.”        Arnold Kozak        From Kozak’s Buddhism, The Everything Buddhism Book (2011)

A NINJA’S CODE: “The rule is: first, do no harm; second, never make a challenge; third, never turn down a challenge.”        Ashida Kim         Marshal arts code in Kim’s book The Invisible Fist: Secret Ninja Methods of Vanishing Without a Trace (1998)

A TYPICAL POLITICIAN’S CODE: “The doctor’s code is, ‘First — do no harm.’ The politician’s code is, ‘First — go on television.”        Guillermo Del Toro, with co-author Chuck Hogan        Said by the character Dr. Barnes, in their modern vampire novel The Strain (2009)

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A new (and highly-recommended) book of quotations: NEVERISMS: A Quotation Lover's Guide to Things You Should Never Do, Never Say, or Never Forget By quotation maven Dr. Mardy Grothe

 

“A bridge too far” – then and now…

THE FAMOUS WORLD WAR II QUOTE: “I think we might be going a bridge too far.”        Lt. General Frederick “Boy” Browning (1896-1965)        British military officer        Comment to Field Marshal Montgomery on September 10, 1944, expressing doubts about the Allied plan to capture the bridge at Arnhem from the Germans as part of “Operation Market Garden.” Browning’s concern turned out to be prophetic. The attempt to take the bridge failed and thousands of British soldiers were killed, wounded and captured. In 1974, Browning’s phrase “a bridge too far” was used by historian Cornelius Ryan as the title of his best-selling book about this event. The book was made into the 1977 film A Bridge Too Far, which featured an all-star cast. The popularity of the book and movie helped make “a bridge too far” — and variations on it — an idiomatic way saying that something is flawed because it is excessive or otherwise goes “too far.”

GOVERNOR BREWER’S BIRTHER SMACKDOWN: “I never imagined being presented with a bill that could require candidates for president of the greatest and most powerful nation on Earth to submit their ‘early baptismal or circumcision certificates,’ among other records, to the Arizona Secretary of State. This is a bridge too far.”        Arizona Governor Jan Brewer        Comment to the press on April 18, 2011, explaining why she vetoed a wacky bill concocted by “Birthers” who refuse to believe that President Barack Obama was born in the United States.

RICK SANTORUM’S LAME REMARK ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE: “Marriage is an institution that’s a bridge too far for too many African-American woman and is not desirable among African-American males.”        Sen. Rick Santorum        Conservative Republican senator and presidential candidate        Comment to the press on June 2, 2009, demonstrating again why the top result when you Google “Santorum” seems highly appropriate.

HILLARY CLINTON’S LAME QUIP ABOUT CHINESE PEOPLE: “I don’t know whether you and I will play ping-pong in public. That may be a bridge too far.”        Hillary Rodham Clinton        U.S. Secretary of State        Remark to Chinese State Councilor Liu Yandong at a U.S.-China diplomatic event in Washington, DC, April 12, 2011, lamely referencing the Nixon-era matches between Chinese and American ping pong players in 1971, which was then a historic sign of a thaw in U.S.-Chinese relations (commonly referred to as “ping pong diplomacy”).

THE DONALD TRUMP VARIATION: “Visualising this brash casino-owner and his Slovenian ex-model trophy wife Melania in the White House is a stretch but hardly a stretch too far when US voters have elected an actor for president, a muscle-bound Austrian-American action star for Governor of California and a Slovak-American wrestler as Governor of Minnesota.”        Linda S. Heard         British journalist          In an April 12, 2011 commentary in the Dubai-based Gulf News on the possibility of Donald Trump being elected President of the United States.

THE JENNIFER GARNER VARIATION: “[Agatha Christie] fans are most furious about the decision...Purists think the remake is a crime too far. But we think our sizzling shots of Garner, star of hit movies Elektra and Juno, show it’s no mystery why audiences might want to see her in the role.”        Adam Thorn        Columnist for the UK News of the World        In an April 3, 2011 story about negative reactions to the casting of Jennifer Garner as Agatha Christie’s character Miss Marple in an upcoming movie remake.

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“Winning Isn’t Everything” (as proven by Charlie Sheen)...

THE FAMOUS RED SANDERS & VINCE LOMBARDI QUOTE: “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.”         This line is most often associated with Green Bay Packers coach Vince Lombardi (who did say it), but UCLA football coach Henry “Red” Sanders said it first.
THE CHARLIE SHEEN PRINCIPLE: “Is there any better way to teach your children that ‘winning isn't everything’ than Charlie Sheen?”        Blogger Jed Resnik        Post on his Entertainment Weakly blog, March 7, 2011
THE CHARLIE SHEEN POWER PLAY:   KANSAS CITY (Sportsman’s Daily Wire Service) Look out green energy, you’ve got some serious competition. The unexplainable, frenzied voltage that has transmogrified a once bankable sitcom star into a bottomless source of unbridled and erratic kilowatts is exactly what the Kansas City Royals plan on powering Kauffman Stadium with this season.     “Actor Charlie Sheen will act as the sole electrical source for the park,” said Keith Decker, Stadium Operations Director....Sheen will disconnect from the highly insulated cables that attach to his nose, penis, and anus once a day to give his motivational speech to members of the Royals.     “I hope they’re ready,” said Sheen. “These guys are going to experience a level of freaked out paranoia and a buzz that’ll make a cocaine-HGH cocktail seem like fuckin’ mother’s milk brother…Wooooo! Winning isn’t everything, winning is me. Winning!”        Faux news story posted on The Sportsman's Daily website, March 4, 2011
THE LEBRON JAMES VARIATION: NANCY GRACE: “Because we couldn't get Charlie Sheen on the show, we have the next best thing: LeBron James...Mr. James, we've noticed a sudden change in your attitude. What gives?” LEBRON JAMES: “Right, Nancy. Look, for years people have shamed me into trying to be something I'm not – a winner. I'm fed up. Winning isn't everything. Yeah, I said it. I'm losing. Everything.”        Faux news transcript posted on the CSNNE.com Wicked Good Sports blog, March 2, 2011
THE CANCER PATIENTS’ COUNTERQUOTE: “Whoever said winning isn’t everything never had to fight cancer.”         A popular saying among people who are trying to beat, or have beaten, cancer
VINCE LOMBARDI’S OWN COUNTERQUOTE: “While winning is not everything, trying to win is everything.”        Vince Lombardi        In a speech at the American Dairy Association’s annual meeting in 1962        Quoted by Vince Lombard, Jr. in his book What It Takes to Be #1: Vince Lombardi on Leadership (2003)

RELATED POST: More “Winning isn’t everything” quotes and counterquotes…

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Further reading: books about winning...