January 30, 2010

Just another word for…what!?! — The TV Killers Counterquote Edition


FAMOUS KRIS AND JANIS QUOTE:

“Freedom's just another word for nothin’ left to lose,
Nothin’ ain’t worth nothin’, but it’s free.”
       Kris Kristofferson’s song “Me and Bobby McGee” (1969)
       Made famous by Janis Joplin’s cover version on her posthumously-released album Pearl (1971)


SERIAL KILLER SHOW COUNTERQUOTE:

“Freedom’s just another word for one more way to get f**ked.” 
       Officer Gerard (actor Scott MacDonald) on Dexter
       In the “Love American Style” episode (2006)


VAMPIRE KILLER SHOW COUNTERQUOTE:

“Can I say somethin’ about destiny? Screw destiny! If this evil thing comes, we’ll fight it and we’ll keep fightin’ it until we whup it. ‘Cause destiny is just another word for inevitable, and nothing’s inevitable as long as you stand up, look it in the eye, and say, ‘You're evitable!’”
       “Fred” Burkle (actor Amy Acker) on Angel
       In the “Offspring” episode (2001)


KILLER VAMPIRE SHOW COUNTERQUOTE:

“Just ‘cause you understand the mechanics of how something works, doesn't make it any less of a miracle...which is just another word for magic. We’re all kept alive by magic, Sookie.”
       Bill Compton (actor Stephen Moyer) on True Blood
       In the episode “Mine” (2008)


COUGAR SHOW KILLER COUNTERQUOTE:

Cougars. It would be nice to ignore this zeitgeisty American term but it keeps cropping up...Is it a term of empowerment or just another word for harpy? Should we celebrate the rise of the wild cats or try to kill a mocking word?”
       New Zealand journalist Rebecca Barry
       Commenting on the TV show Cougar Town
       In her New Zealand Herald column, Jan. 26, 2010


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January 28, 2010

“Change we can believe in.” That was then, this is now…


THAT WAS THEN QUOTE:

“Change we can believe in.”
       Presidential candidate Barack Obama
       Campaign slogan, 2008


THIS IS NOW COUNTERQUOTE:

“I campaigned on the promise of change – change we can believe in, the slogan went…I never suggested that change would be easy, or that I can do it alone. Democracy in a nation of three hundred million people can be noisy and messy and complicated. And when you try to do big things and make big changes, it stirs passions and controversy.”
       President Barack Obama
       State of the Union Address, Jan. 27, 2010


THAT WAS THEN PUNDIT QUOTE:

“It was certainly something that made people THINK…OK, obviously this guy is offering change but, ‘we can believe in’…what does that mean? And for a lot of people that meant he’s not from the Washington gestalt so he might have the ability to bring about change.” 
       Obama campaign advisor David Plouffe
       On C-SPAN’s “Washington Journal” show, Nov. 6, 2009


THIS IS NOW PUNDIT COUNTERQUOTE:

“On the eve of the first anniversary of President Obama’s inauguration, it’s become painfully obvious that elected officials are not going to save us...The power of special interests to thwart meaningful change — often by co-opting the rhetoric of change but producing in its name a further consolidation of the status quo — has never been stronger.” 
       Political pundit Arianna Huffington
       Comment on her Huffington Post blog, Jan. 18, 2010


VOTER COUNTERQUOTE:

“Scott Brown: Change We Can Afford”
       Campaign sign made by a supporter of Scott Brown, the Massachusetts Republican elected to fill Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts Senate seat on Jan. 19, 2010


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January 27, 2010

One small step, one giant leap…


FAMOUS MOON LANDING QUOTE:

“That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.” 
       Astronaut Neil Armstrong
       The famous words he spoke as he became the first human to step onto the moon, July 20, 1969


A NEWLY-MINTED COUNTERQUOTE:

“One small step for the Supreme Court, one giant step for corruption.”
       Blogger Andrew B. Einhorn
       Commenting on the court’s decision to allow corporations to fund political campaigns
       In his column on the OhMyGov! site, Jan. 21 2010


IT’S GOOD TO BE KING COUNTERQUOTE:

“Ballooning around the world. One small step for man, one giant leap for really rich guys.”
       Columnist Jim Mullen
       In his “Hot Sheet” feature in Entertainment Weekly, Jan. 24, 1997


IT’S GOOD TO BE HIGH COUNTERQUOTE:

NARRATOR: “Marijuana was first discovered in Twin Falls Idaho in 1907 by a small Polish immigrant by the name of Wayne Kroka. The discovery occurred in early May while Wayne was working late in his study one evening trying to find a shorter route to India.”
KROKA: “That’s one small toke for man, and a giant toke for mankind.”
       From the comedy album A Child's Garden Of Grass (1971)
       Based on the 1969 book by Jack S. Margolis


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January 18, 2010

“Cowards die many times before their deaths.”


FAMOUS QUOTE ABOUT COWARDS:

“Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.”
 
       William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
       Said by Caesar in Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar, Act II, Scene 2


SOLDIER’S COUNTERQUOTE:

CAJE: “The coward dies a thousand times, the brave only once.”
KIRBY: “That’s about all it takes, ain’t it?” 
       Actors Pierre Jalbert and Jack Hogan, as Caje Lemay and Bill Kirby 
       In the “Silent Cry” episode of Combat, first aired Feb. 18, 1964


POLITICIAN'S COUNTERQUOTE:

“Politics are almost as interesting as war and quite as dangerous.  In war you can only be killed once, but in politics – many times.” 
       Winston Churchill (1874-1965) 
       British politician and statesman 
       Quoted in the Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations


POET’S COUNTERQUOTE:

“Cowards die many times before their death – artists die many times before they live.” 
       Harindranath Chattopadhyay (1898-1990) 
       Indian poet and actor 
       Reflections: Poems (1988)


SCRIVENER’S COUNTERQUOTE:

“The valiant never taste of death but once, but they taste it a hell of a lot sooner than the coward.”
       Posted by “Scrivener”  
       On The UnderEmpire gaming message board, Jan. 17, 2008

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January 11, 2010

You can fool almost all the people – about some Lincoln quotations


FAMOUS QUOTE:

“You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you can not fool all the people all of the time.”
       Attributed to Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) 
       Supposedly from a speech he gave in Clinton, Illinois in 1858
       (In fact, he never said it.)

POLITICAL COUNTERQUOTE:

“The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.”
       Franklin P. Adams (1881-1960) 
       American journalist and humorist
       In his book Nods and Becks (1944)

MOVIE COUNTERQUOTE:

“You can fool all the people all the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.”
       Joseph E. Levine (1905-1987)
       American film producer
       Quoted in Halliwell’s Filmgoer’s Companion (1984)

TV COUNTERQUOTE:

“You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, and those are very good odds.”
       James Garner, as Bret Maverick
       In the “Shady Deal at Sunny Acres” episode of Maverick
       First broadcast November 23, 1958


MUSIC COUNTERQUOTE:

“Half of the people can be part right all of the time,
Some of the people can be all right part of the time.
I think Abraham Lincoln said that.
‘I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours,’
I said that.”
       Bob Dylan (b. 1941)
       Legendary songwriter, musician, poet, actor, radio show host….
       In his song “Talkin’ World War III Blues” (1963)


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January 10, 2010

Tiger Woods gives new meaning to “Just do it!”


FAMOUS QUOTE:

“Just do it!”
       The famed ad slogan for Nike, Inc.
       First used in 1988 
       Sometimes used with the longer tagline “Go on. Just Do it!”


UPDATED COUNTERQUOTE:

“Just do it! But don’t text about it.”
        Sports columnist Bob Young
        The Arizona Republic, December 15, 2009 


KIWI QUOTE:

“Nike’s best-known slogan is ‘Just do it’...Then it emerged Tiger had just done it. And done it and done it and done it. The result was uproar. And most of the corporates fled. They had to be seen to espouse Christian morality. But corporations are about as Christian as my dog. They employ the cheapest labour they can find and the most dishonest advertising they can get away with. Their dropping of Tiger had nothing to do with morality. It was just replacing one fib with another.” 
       New Zealand columnist Joe Bennett 
       The Dominion, December 23, 2009


COLBERT QUOTE:

“There is one sports story out there that has really got me peeved. Accenture has ended their sponsorship deal with Tiger Woods. And just when I’d almost figured out what Accenture was...Why break up when you can just change your slogan to, ‘Ho On. Do A Tiger.’” 
       Stephen Colbert
       On The Colbert Report, December 16, 2009

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Further reading for fans of sports quotations…


January 5, 2010

Satan finds mischief for idle hands – and minds...


FAMOUS QUOTE:

“In works of labour, or of skill,
I would be busy too;
For Satan finds some mischief still
For idle hands to do.”
       Isaac Watts (1674-1748)
       British hymn writer and minister 
       “Against Idleness and Mischief” (1715)

SATANIC COUNTERQUOTE:

“The only thing worse than idle hands is an idle mind.”
       Anton Szandor Lavey
       Founder and High Priest of the Church of Satan
       Satan Speaks! (1998)

STAR TREK COUNTERQUOTE:

The Doctor: “The devil finds work for idle hands.”
Seven of Nine: “Religious metaphors are irrelevant.”
       Star Trek: Voyager 
       The “Good Shepherd” episode (2000)

OLD DICKENS COUNTERQUOTE:

“If Doctor Watts knew mankind, he might have written, with as much truth, ‘Satan finds some mischief still for busy hands to do.’ The busy people achieve their full share of mischief in the world, you may rely upon it. What have the people been about who have been the busiest in getting money and in getting power, this century or two? No mischief?”
       Charles Dickens 
       David Copperfield (1850) 
       Spoken by the character Mr. Wickfield

OL’ DRIPPY COUNTERQUOTE:

“Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that.”
       Ol’ Drippy
       Aqua Teen Hunger Force
       The “Old Drippy” episode (2002)

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January 2, 2010

Ring out the old, ring in the new…PLEASE!


FAMOUS QUOTE:

“Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.”
       Alfred Tennyson (Alfred, Lord Tennyson; 1809-1892) 
       From his poem In Memoriam A.H.H. (1850)


2010 COUNTERQUOTE:

“Ring out the old and hope for a better new year...2009. It was the new 1930 — only without  the D word. Because, as we all know, we are not in a depression. We are merely in a recession, which is a decline in the gross domestic product for two or more consecutive  quarters. This is nothing like a depression, which is, technically...Oh, whatever, just pass  the Prozac, and let’s get on with it.”
       Editorial, December 31, 2009 
       Mercury News

(Cartoon by Brian Fairrington)

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