“To err is human; to forgive, divine.”

 

The new, expanded and updated version of this post is now on my ThisDayinQuotes.com blog. Click this link  or the image below to go there. *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     *     * Comments? Corrections? Post them on the Famous Quotations Facebook group.

You’re no Jack Kennedy / Sarah Palin / Ronald Reagan / (Insert Name Here)...

THE FAMOUS ORIGINAL DISS: “I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.”        Lloyd M. Bentsen (1921-2006)        U.S. Senator from Texas and 1988 Democratic candidate for Vice President        This legendary put down was unleashed by Bentsen against Republican vice-presidential candidate Senator Dan Quayle in their televised debate on October 5, 1988. Prior to the debate, Quayle had been defending his relative youth and lack of experience by comparing himself to the young John F. Kennedy. Bentsen was ready to pounce if Quayle mentioned Kennedy in the debate. Sure enough, Quayle answered a question from journalist Tom Brokaw by saying: “I have far more experience than many others that sought the office of Vice President of this country. I have as much experience in the Congress as Jack Kennedy did when he sought the presidency.” Bentsen responded with his famous “You’re no Jack Kennedy” zinger, creating a new formula for an insult that has been used ever since.

THE SARAH PALIN VARIATION: “I know Sarah Palin. I respect Sarah Palin. And with all due respect - Christine O’Donnell is no Sarah Palin.”        Republican media pundit Bill Kristol        Comment to CNN on September 13, 2010, dissing Connecticut Tea Party candidate Christine O’Donnell a few days before she defeated Republican Party favorite Mike Castle in the state’s Republican primary election. O’Donnell had been publicly endorsed by Sarah Palin.

RONALD REAGAN’S QUIP: “This fellow they’ve nominated claims he’s the new Thomas Jefferson. Well, let me tell you something. I knew Thomas Jefferson. He was a friend of mine. And Governor, you’re no Thomas Jefferson!”        President Ronald Reagan (1911-2004)        His joking comment about Democratic Presidential nominee Bill Clinton (and his own age) in an address at the Republican National Convention, August 17, 1992

A REAGAN DAUGHTER’S VERSION: “The 2008 [Republican] presidential candidates try to imitate my father and proclaim themselves more Reaganesque than their competitors. Where is Lloyd Bentsen when you need him? ‘I knew Ronald Reagan…Senator [or Governor], you’re no Ronald Reagan.’”        Patti Davis        Actress, author and daughter of Ronald and Nancy Reagan        In an op-ed in Newsweek, December 29, 2007

HARRY TRUMAN’S DAUGHTER’S VERSION: “I would say to George Bush, ‘You are no Harry Truman.’”        Margaret Truman (1924-2008)        Daughter of President Harry Truman        Her response to comments by President George H. W. Bush comparing himself to President Harry Truman, during the 1992 Presidential campaign

THE AL GORE FARMBOY VARIATION: “Al, I was an Iowa farmboy. Iowa farmboys are friends of mine, and you’re no Iowa farmboy.”        Republican National Committee Chair Jim Nicholson        Quote in an RNC press release (March 17, 1999) responding to Vice President Al Gore’s claim that he did a lot of farm work as a young man, such as cleaning out “hog waste with a shovel and a hose.” Nicholson added: “Mr. Vice President, with all due respect, you’re shoveling a lot more of it right now than you ever did back then.”

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Brush up on your insults…

Some pointed responses to Tony Hayward’s infamous quote

THE INFAMOUS, INFURIATING QUOTE: “There’s no one who wants this thing over more than I do. I’d like my life back.”        BP CEO Tony Hayward         Tone deaf comment to a reporter on May 30, 2010 about British Petroleum’s Deepwater Horizon oil rig disaster and the resulting massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico

CARTOONIST’S COUNTERPOINT:     Political cartoon by Jack Ohman      Published in The Oregonian, June 2010

11 LOST LIVES COUNTERQUOTE: “Americans watched as BP’s Tony Hayward looking pitifully into television cameras exclaiming to the world that he ‘wants his life back’, totally forgetting about the 11 lives that were lost on the Deepwater Horizon on April 20, 2010…To the rest of us who heard him speak, it’s crystal clear that money does not bring back life and neither does a millionaire’s self-pity.”        Journalist Gregory Boyce         Post on the Examiner.com site, June 21, 2010

LENO’S COUNTERQUOTE: “BP CEO Tony Hayward said he would just like to get his life back. He wants to get his life back! You know, I say give him life plus 20.”        Jay Leno        On The Tonight Show, June 8, 2010

BP SONG VARIATION: “BP wants their life back. BP wants a little break. BP’s had their fill of this nasty spill  And it’s slimed their precious corp’rate name... ‘Can’t we get back to just making money? Can’t we get back to a simpler time  When we weren't held accountable     for the nature of our crimes?”        Songwriter Mick Terry        In his sardonic song “BP Wants Their Life Back”

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Further reading about some of the some of the stupidest things ever said or done…

“A mind is a terrible thing to waste.”

FAMOUS ORIGINAL SLOGAN: “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.”        Ad slogan for the United Negro College Fund since 1971        Coined by the Young & Rubicam ad agency

CORSETIÈRE COUNTERQUOTE: “A waist is a terrible thing to waste.”         Headline of an article about the Vancouver corset shop (a “corsetière”) Lace Embrace Atelier

COPYCAT COUNTERQUOTE: “A sick mind is a terrible thing to waste.”        Movie critic Richard Corliss        In his negative review of the psychokiller movie Copycat (1995)

GRAMMARIAN’S QUIBBLE: “The Fund [UNCF] has a slogan that reads, ‘A mind is a terrible thing to waste.’ But while one understands the intent of its worded content, the manner in which the slogan is worded makes for light wonderment in semantics as to whether a mind really is a ‘terrible thing’? Should it not then be, ‘It’s a terrible thing to waste a mind’?”         Guyanese journalist Emile Mervin        In an article in the Guyana Gazette, Feb. 26, 2006

COMPOSTER’S VARIATION: “Compost...because a rind is a terrible thing to waste!”        Title of a composting manual by Jean Bonhotal and Karen Rollo        Published by the Cornell University Waste Management Institute (1996)

INFAMOUS QUAYLE BLOOPER: “When you take the UNCF model that, what a waste it is to lose one’s mind, or not to have a mind is being very wasteful, how true that is.”        Dan Quayle        Vice President of the United States (1989-1993)        Speech at the United Negro College Fund, May 9, 1989        What a Waste It Is to Lose One's Mind is the title of an unauthorized “autobiography” of Quayle

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Brush up on your bloopers...

“I am not an animal!”

FAMOUS MOVIE QUOTE: “I am not an animal!  I am a human being!”        John Hurt as John Merrick, “The Elephant Man”        In the film version of The Elephant Man (1980)        Based on the 1977 play by Bernard Pomerance

THE PENGUIN’S COUNTERQUOTE: Danny DeVito (as The Penguin): “I am not a human being. I am an animal!”        In the movie Batman Returns (1992)

NIETZCHE’S VERSION: “I am not a human being. I am dynamite.”        German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)        Ecce Homo (written in 1888, published in 1908)

THE PRODUCERS’ VERSION: Gene Wilder (as Leo Bloom): “Actors are not animals. They’re human beings.” Zero Mostel (as Max Bialystock): “They are? Have you ever eaten with one?”         In Mel Brooks’ movie The Producers (1968)

MST3K VARIATION: Tom Servo: “I am not an animal. I am a rubber model!”        One of the quips Tom made on Mystery Science Theater 3000 while watching a stop-motion dinosaur in the 1951 movie, Lost Continent

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“Those who cannot remember the past...”

FAMOUS ORIGINAL QUOTE: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”        George Santayana (1863-1952)        Spanish-American philosopher, poet and novelist         In his book The Life of Reason, Volume I (1905)         This line was used by Walter Shirer as the epigraph of his book Rise and Fall of the Third Reich (1959)        Often misquoted with the ending “doomed to repeat it.”

STOP MISQUOTES COUNTERQUOTE: “A deliberately incorrect Google search (with search terms Santayana, ‘remember history’ and ‘doomed to repeat’), yielded 269 Web pages misquoting Santayana (‘Those who cannot remember history are doomed to repeat it.’). Those who cannot remember quotations are condemned to paraphrase them.”        A reference librarian who blogs as “denseatoms”        On the NowPublic.com site

JANE ACE COUNTERQUOTE: “Those who cannot forget the past are doomed to remember it.”        Jane Ace (1897-1974)        American comedienne, wife and comic partner of Goodman Ace        One of her famous malaprops on the couple’s Easy Aces radio show (1930-1945)

BUFFY’S VARIATION: “You know what they say. Those of us who fail history, doomed to repeat it in summer school.”        Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar)        In the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer         From the episode "After Life" (Season 6, Ep. 3), first aired Oct. 9, 2001

BUFFY FAN VARIATION: “Those who cannot forget the past are doomed to watch it — endlessly — in syndication.”        Article on the fall TV season in TV Guide, 1985        (Image by Chicago artist Stacia Yeapanis)

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Comments? Questions? Corrections? Post them on my Famous Quotations Facebook group.

Read some books about misquotations (so you don’t repeat them)…

“The right tool for the right job.”

FAMOUS ADVERTISING SLOGAN: “The right tool for the right job.”        Ad slogan used for True Temper tools since at least 1907         This may not have been the first use of the saying, but it did help popularize it in America.

THE SEXY VERSION: “When it come to lovin’ Honey, mama, I’m the one you want Well, I may not be the best lookin’ But I’m the right tool for the job.”        David Lee Roth        American rock music vocalist        In his song “Right Tool for the Job,” on the DLR Band album (1998)

THE UNSEXY VERSION: “Even if one’s intentions are good, the wrong tool for the wrong task is the wrong tool for the wrong task. Sex in an incorrect circumstance is not useful, no matter how good it feels.”        Joshua Miller        The Heart of Love (2009)

CRIMINOLOGY VARIATION: “The criminal justice system is a tool – one of several – for promoting national security, for protecting our country against terrorism. Sometimes it's the right tool; sometimes it’s the wrong tool.”        U.S. Assistant Attorney General David Kris        Speech at the Brookings Institution, June 2010

THEOLOGY VARIATION: “Perhaps it is time for atheists and anti-theists to take a break from the God arguments. In a way, by continuing the debates, they also continue to reinforce belief in God by theists, because the more they argue against it, the more their opponents lash back with their vehement responses for it. Why? Because they are using the right tool for the wrong job, like using cold reason to sympathize with a person in duress.”        Kris Hartung        Post on the Project Reason website, July 24, 2009

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Recommended book about proverbial sayings… Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings Compiled by Gregory Titelman

“Nothing can be created from nothing.”

FAMOUS QUOTE ABOUT NOTHING: “Nothing can be created from nothing.” (“Nil posse creare de nilo.”)        Lucretius (c. 99-55 B.C.)        Roman philosopher and poet        De Rerum Natura (On the Nature of Things)

CELEBRITY FAME COUNTERQUOTE: “Fame sometimes hath created something of nothing.”        Thomas Fuller (1608-1661)        British clergyman and historian        The Holy State and the Profane State (1642)

AD MAN’S VERSION: “If you can supply something that stimulates conspicuous consumption, you can create something from nothing.”        Patrick Hanlon        American advertising consultant and writer        Primal Branding (2006)

GOVERNMENT VERSION: “The government can create something from nothing. It can spend more than it collects in taxes. If there are private savings lying fallow, the government can borrow them. If there are no such savings, it can borrow from itself (by simply printing more money).”        Prof. David Schweickart        American philosopher and mathematician        Against Capitalism (1996)

DRILL, BABY, DRILL VARIATION: “Just as something cannot be created from nothing, truth cannot be revealed by falsehood. Belief never yields knowledge...Public policy based on mere beliefs or opinions sooner or later crashes headlong into the wall of reality causing disastrous consequences.”        Prof. John Kozy        Centre for Research on Globalization        Post on the GlobalResearch.ca website, May 16, 2010