“I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.”

THE FAMOUS PATRIOTIC QUOTE: “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.”        Nathan Hale (1755-1776)        American schoolteacher, spy and Revolutionary War hero        According to legend, Hale uttered this brave quote on September 22, 1776, just before he was hung by the British for being an American spy. According to modern historians, he probably didn’t say it. If he did, he was probably paraphrasing an earlier quote from Joseph Addison’s play Cato (1713), which was popular in the 1770s and almost certainly known to Hale. In Act IV, Scene 4 of the play, Cato says: “What pity is it / That we can die but once to serve our country!”

THE COLBERT COUNTERQUOTE: “I regret that I have but one life to give. I want more lives!”        Stephen Colbert        American political satirist        In his intro to the June 5, 2008 episode of The Colbert Report

THE ABBIE HOFFMAN FLAG SHIRT VARIATION: “I only regret that I have but one shirt to give for my country.”        Abbie Hoffman (1936-1989)        American political activist and leader of the Yippies        His response in October 1968 after being found guilty of the “crime” of wearing an American flag shirt.

THE FOREIGN SERVICE VARIATION: “I only regret that I have but one liver to give for my country.”        Fred Chapin (1929-1969)        American diplomat who served as U.S. ambassador to Guatemala and Ethiopia        Chapin, famous for his ability to drink a bottle of Scotch and still give a lucid interview, is generally credited with coining this quip. It’s said to be well-known in Foreign Service circles.

THE CHEEZY LOLCAT VARIATION: “I only regret that I have but nine lives to give for my Cheez-site.”         Posted by CorvusCorax         Another one of those cute LOLcat photo/quotes

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“Let them eat cake” – the misinterpreted origin, recent political uses and some politically incorrect variations...

THE ALLEGED (BUT DOUBTFUL) ORIGIN: “Let them eat cake.” (“Qu’ils mangent de la brioche.”)        Attributed to Marie Antoinette (1755-1793)        Queen of France from 1774 to 1792; beheaded in 1793 in the wake of the French Revolution         This classic expression of disdain for the common people has traditionally been attributed to Marie Antoinette. She supposedly said it when she was told that most French people were do poor they were unable to buy bread to eat. Many scholars now doubt that she actually said it. Moreover, if she did say the line as traditionally given in French — “Qu’ils mangent de la brioche” — it has long been mistranslated and possibly misunderstood. In English, those words actually mean “Let them eat brioche,” referring to a bakery product that is not what we usually think of as a “cake.” Brioche is a light, fluffy pastry with a flaky crust. As explained by the excellent Phrase Finder site, French law in Marie Antoinette’s time required bakers to sell fancier products like brioche at the same price as a common loaf of bread, to prevent them from using too much of the limited flour supplies to make products that would typically be more profitable to the bakery but unaffordable to poor French families. Thus, “Let them eat brioche” could have been an expression of compassion rather than disdain, suggesting that poor people should have access to a product they would have been unable to afford without price controls.

THE POLITICAL PEAS VERSION: “While chastising the Republicans for not agreeing to a debt ceiling deal that would include his suggestions to cut Medicare and Social Security benefits, President Obama said Congressional members needed to do their work, reach a deal and just ‘eat their peas.’...While no one knows for sure if Marie Antoinette ever really said, ‘Let them eat cake,’ we do know the elite in France all those years ago in the 1700s were clueless to the cries of people who couldn't afford bread much less the cake they had been admonished to eat. It appears that in 2011 in the United States of America, we can now replace that admonition with our own: ‘Let them eat their peas.’”        Donna Smith        Healthcare reform activist and Founder of American Patients United        In an opinion piece posted on OpedNews.com on July 18, 2011

THE POLITICAL CORN (FLAKE) VERSION: “Now, once again the reincarnated Marie Antoinette Michele Bachmann is screaming from the floor of the House of Representatives and from Iowa televisions ‘I will not raise the debt ceiling under any circumstances. Let them eat corn!’ If the GOP once again drive the country and the world into a financial ditch can martial law and a fascist dictatorship in the United States be far behind?”        Karen Fish        Freelance blogger        In an op-ed posted on TheSpoof.com site on July 23, 2011

POLITICALLY INCORRECT VARIATION #1: “Let Them Eat Pussy”        Title of the 1998 debut album by the “psychobilly” rock band Nashville Pussy

POLITICALLY INCORRECT VARIATION #2: “I saw this video once, yeah, they was all dressed up like Marie Antoinette. Well, they wore the wigs. Let Them Eat Cock it was called.”        Actor Fraser Ayres        As the character Clint, in an episode of the BBC comedy TV series The Smoking Room (2004–2005)

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Alternative versions of the Pledge of Allegiance…

THE ORIGINAL PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE: “I pledge allegiance to my Flag and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”        Francis Bellamy (1855-1931)         American Baptist minister, Christian Socialist and magazine editor        This is the original Pledge of Allegiance, written by Bellamy and published in the September 8, 1892 issue of The Youth’s Companion magazine. The words were changed several times in following decades. In 1923, at the first National Flag Conference in Washington D.C., “my Flag” was changed to “the flag of the United States.” At the following year’s national Flag Conference, the words “of America” were added. In 1942, that version of the Pledge was made official by Congress. In 1954, Congress passed a resolution which added the words “under God” to the Pledge, creating the current version:       “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands: one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

THE MAD MAGAZINE FLAG POSTER VERSION: “I WILL PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS WHEN IT IS ONE NATION UNDER GOD WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL INCLUDING KIKES, WOPS, SPICS, NIGGERS, WASPS, ETC.”         From a poster in a 1971 special issue of MAD magazine (Special Number Five)        These words are printed in capital letters in the red stripes of the poster’s flag image (shown at left).

THE WHITEST KIDS U’ KNOW VERSION: “I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. Thank you very, very much for letting us little kids live here. It really, really was nice of you. You didn’t have to do it. And it’s really not freaky that us little, little kids mindlessly recite this anthem every day and pledge their life to a government before they’re old enough to really think about what they’re saying. This is not a form of brainwashing. This is not a form of brainwashing. This is not a form of brainwashing. This is really the greatest country in the whole world. All the other countries suck. And, if this country ever goes to war, as it often wants to do, I promise to help go and kill all the other countries’ kids. God bless Johnson & Johnson. God bless GE. God bless Citigroup. Amen.”        From IFC’s Whitest Kids U' Know comedy series        This skit is in Episode 7 of Season 5 (first aired on May 27, 2011).

THE ANIMAL HOUSE VERSION: “I, state your name, do hereby pledge allegiance to the frat with liberty and fraternity for all. Amen.”        The Delta House fraternity pledge, in National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978)

A MATHEMATICIAN’S VERSION: “I pledge my support for the semiautonomous, evolving, complex dynamical network known as the United States of America and for those principles that maximize the degrees of freedom and independence of its human nodes.”        John Allen Paulos        Professor of Mathematics at Temple University        One of a number of alternate versions of the Pledge of Allegiance submitted to the Washington Post for a special section in the July 4, 2005 edition.

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“If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere…”

A RECENT VARIATION ON A FAMOUS SONG LYRIC: “Now that we’ve made it here, we'll make it everywhere.”        Evan Wolfson        American civil rights attorney and leading advocate of same-sex marriage        Comment in a June 25, 2011 news story about the recent state law legalizing gay marriage in New York

ORIGIN OF THE FAMILIAR LINE: “If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere It’s up to you, New York, New York.”         Fred Ebb        American song lyricist        Lyrics from the song “Theme from New York, New York” (1977)        This song, often referred to simply as “New York, New York,” was originally used as the theme song for Martin Scorsese’s movie musical New York, New York, released on June 21, 1977. Ebb wrote the lyrics and his longtime songwriting partner John Kandar wrote the music. The song was sung by Liza Minnelli in the film. Frank Sinatra recorded a popular version in 1979 and made it one of his signature songs. Ebb and Kandar’s “Theme from New York, New York” is sometimes confused with the song “New York, New York,” which was written by Betty Comden, Adolph Green and Leonard Bernstein for the 1944 Broadway musical On the Town. (That song includes the famous lyrics “New York, New York, a helluva town / The Bronx is up but the Battery’s down.”)

THE L.A. VERSION OF THE OLD BIG APPLE ADAGE: “When did the old adage about the Big Apple become: ‘If you can make it there, it’s probably because everyone else has set a really low bar’? Um...just now, I guess. (Start spreadin’ the news.)”        Amy Reiter        American pop culture critic        Her dry comment in a June 23, 2011 post on the L.A. Times “Show Tracker” blog regarding an episode of America’s Got Talent that featured people from New York

AN OLD BLUES MUSICIAN’S TAKE ON L.A.: “Well, if a man can make it Los Angeles, he can make it anywhere But you got to have one of those used Cadillac cars, yes boys, and you can stay square.”        Charles “Crown Prince” Waterford (1919-2007)        American blues and jazz musician        In his song “L.A. Blues,” included on the album The Very Best of Crown Prince Waterford

THE EXTREMOPHILE VARIATION: “The recent discovery of bacteria on Earth in the most unlikely spots-under the ocean floor, in rivers orange with dissolved iron-has lent support to the argument that if life can make it there, it can make it anywhere.”        News story in the January 2006 issue of Popular Science magazine        (Scientists call organisms that live in extremely harsh environments “extremophiles.”)

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Things that friends don’t let friends do, according to Roger Ebert and other pundits...

A RECENT CONTROVERSIAL VARIATION ON A FAMOUS AD SLOGAN: “Friends don’t let jackasses drink and drive.”        Roger Ebert         American movie critic        This was a Twitter tweet Ebert posted on June 20, 2011 shortly after news stories announced that Ryan Dunn, the star of MTV’s wild Jackass series and movies, had been killed in a late-night, high-speed car crash in Pennsylvania. His tweet was a seemingly snarky variation on the familiar public service ad slogan “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk.” Ebert assumed Dunn was drunk, given reports that he’d been drinking at a local bar that night with friends, though toxicology results were not yet available when Ebert wrote the post. Dunn’s friends and fans immediately attacked Ebert online. One responding tweet that grabbed media attention was by Dunn’s Jackass castmate Bam Margera, who said: “About a jackass drunk driving and his is one, f**k you! Millions of people are crying right now, shut your fat f**king mouth!” Two days later, in a blog post on the Chicago Sun-Times site, Ebert (a former alcoholic) apologized, but also stood by the point of his tweet. “I don’t know what happened in this case,” he wrote,”and I was probably too quick to tweet...I do know that nobody has any business driving on a public highway at 110mph, as some estimated – or fast enough, anyway, to leave a highway and fly through 40 yards of trees before crashing. That is especially true if [as reported in some news stories] the driver has had three shots and three beers.” The next day, a toxicology report showed that Dunn had blood-alcohol levels that were more than twice the legal limit.

A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE FAMILIAR AD SLOGAN: “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk.”        Ad slogan first used in 1982 by the Outdoor Advertising Association of America        This well-known slogan and the long-running ad campaign featuring it were created in December 1982 as an outgrowth of a presidential Commission on Drunk Driving during Ronald Reagan’s administration. The primary goal was to reduce drunk driving, especially during the Christmas and New Year’s Eve weekends, when drunk driving fatalities are traditionally at their highest. The campaign began with billboards and radio ads sponsored by the U.S. Department of Transportation, the Outdoor Advertising Association of America and the Licensed Beverage Information Council. During the 1982 holiday season, “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk” ads were shown on 3,000 billboards and used in public service radio spots by 1,200 radio stations nationwide. The campaign was praised by President Reagan in 1983 and continued. In 1990, it was taken over by The Ad Council.

NAOMI JUDD’S FASHION ADVICE FOR WOMEN: “Friends don’t let friends wear ugly shoes.”        Naomi Judd        American country music singer, songwriter and author         A guideline included in her book Naomi’s Guide to Aging Gratefully (2008)

MAC LIFE’S FASHION ADVICE FOR GEEKS: “Friends don’t let friends wear their iPods on their belts.”        Photo caption in Mac Life magazine, August 2008

A FASHION OPTION FOR ZOMBIE MOVIE FANS: “Friends Don’t Let Friends Reanimate.”         Slogan on a t-shirt sold by BuyZombie.com

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