“The Powers That Be” — the Celebrity Quotes Edition

THE ORIGIN OF THE PHRASE: “The powers that be are ordained of God…Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.”         Romans, 13:1-2        This Biblical quote from Saint Paul’s “Epistle to the Romans” (usually just called Romans) is the origin of the English idiom “the powers that be,” a general term used to refer to the people or organizations who control something.        “Powers that be” and many others familiar phrases from the Bible were coined by William Tyndale (1494–1536). He was a feisty English Puritan who translated the Bible from Hebrew and Greek into English in the 1520s, a time when such a translation was considered heresy by the Catholic Church’s Powers That Be. The “Tyndale Bible” pre-dated and heavily influenced the King James Version created in 1611.

RICHARD DREYFUSS VERSION: “The [Screen Actors] Guild was the healthiest, sanest and strongest guild in America, and now it’s run by complete loons and the opposition is made up of complete loons, so the Guild has destroyed itself, and in so doing, has achieved the Powers That Be’s greatest goal, which is to extract every illegal penny that they can from their own work force and deny them the ability of collective power.”          Richard Dreyfuss        American actor        In an interview on HollywoodNews.com

SARAH PALIN’S VIEW FROM THE RIGHT: “The powers that be in Washington, they've got it all wrong...We should not be working for our government. Our government should be working for us.”        Sarah Palin         Republican politician and commentator        In a speech she gave in Wichita, Kansas on May 3, 2010          Providing a possible alternate explanation of why she resigned as Governor of Alaska

JIM HIGHTOWER’S VIEW FROM THE LEFT: “The powers that be within it made a political calculation that we Democrats could raise corporate money and compete with the Republicans…The problem is, when you start taking those corporate checks, on the back is written the corporate agenda. So our party began speaking in different languages.”         Jim Hightower         Liberal political gadfly and former Democratic politician        In an article about him in the Texas Tribune (April 16, 2010)

THE OLIVIA MUNN VIEWERS VERSION: “Cable channels were built around the notion that as long as the male audience is drooling from one side of their mouth, then the other side of the body won't be able to work the remote. So, it is with a deep understanding of the powers that be, and the powers that eventually will be, that we celebrate cable’s newest ‘It’ girl, and PETA's latest pin-up, Olivia Munn.”          Reagan Alexander        Online columnist and blogger        In an article about Olivia Munn on Tonic.com

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“We have met the enemy…”

FAMOUS WAR OF 1812 QUOTE: “We have met the enemy and they are ours.”        Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry (1785-1819)        American Navy officer        The immortal message Perry sent on September 10, 1813 to U.S. General William Henry Harrison about the Battle of Lake Erie. That day, American ships under Perry’s command defeated a British naval squadron and captured all of the British ships. After the battle, Perry scrawled a brief report to Harrison on the back of an envelope. It said: “Dear General: We have met the enemy and they are ours. Two ships, two brigs, one schooner and one sloop. Yours with great respect and esteem, O.H. Perry.” The first sentence became one of the most famous U.S. Navy quotations in history.

WORLD WAR II VERSION: “We have met the enemy and have learned nothing more about him. I have, however, learned some things about myself. There are things men can do to one another that are sobering to the soul. It is one thing to reconcile these things with God, but another to square it with yourself.”        American PFC Robert Leckie (played by actor James Badge Dale)         Comment in a letter written to his stateside girlfriend         In the HBO miniseries The Pacific (2010)

WAR BETWEEN THE SEXES VERSION: “We have met the enemy and he’s our friend...the friends, brothers, lovers in the counterfeit male-dominated Left. The good guys who think they know what ‘Women’s Lib,’ as they so chummily call it, is all about.”         Robin Morgan         American author, journalist and pioneering feminist        In a 1970 editorial piece titled “Goodbye to All That”        Published in the January 1970 issue of the underground newspaper Rat: Subterranean News

WAR IN AFGHANISTAN VERSION: “We Have Met the Enemy and He Is PowerPoint”        Title of an article about a Pentagon PowerPoint diagram meant to portray the complexity of America’s strategy in Afghanistan. Published in the New York Times on April 26, 2010. Gen. Stanley A. McChrystal commented: “When we understand that slide, we’ll have won the war.”

WAR ON NATURE VERSION: “We have met the enemy and he is us.”        Walt Kelly (1913-1973)        American cartoonist        First used for his famous 1970 Earth Day poster

VIETNAM WAR VERSION: “I was stumbling around in a beautiful haze When I met a little cat in black P.J.’s, Rifle, ammo belt, B.F. Goodrich sandals... He said, ‘We’re campin’ down the pass And smelled you people blowin’ grass, And since by the smell you’re smokin’ trash I brought you a taste of a special stash Straight from Uncle Ho’s victory garden. We call it Hanoi gold.’ So his squad and my squad settled down And passed some lovely stuff around. All too soon it was time to go. The captain got on the radio, said:  ‘Hello, headquarters. Hello, headquarters? We have met the enemy And he has been smashed!’”         Tom Paxton        American singer/songwriter         From his song "Talking Vietnam Potluck Blues"        Originally released on his 1968 album Morning Again. (Also on The Best Of Tom Paxton.)

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“All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.”

THE FAMED (BUT UNDOCUMENTED) WOOLLCOTT QUIP: “All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.”         Attributed to Alexander Woollcott (1897-1943)        American journalist, drama critic and member of the Algonquin Round Table        This famous dry witticism is widely credited to Woollcott, sometimes with the last three words in the order “...illegal, immoral, or fattening.” It does not seem to have appeared in his written works, though some sources wrongly claim it’s from his piece “The Knock at the Stage Door,” first published in the September 1922 issue of The North American Review. (It isn’t.)        Woollcott biographer Howard Teichmann says Woollcott used the line in conversations, presumably with his fellow Algonquin Round Table members. But documentation of a specific oral or written use remains elusive. Thus, most books of quotations simply note that the saying is “attributed” to Woollcott. Some give the December 1933 issue of Reader's Digest as a citation for his use. However, as noted by authoritative sources like The Dictionary of Modern Proverbs, it was just listed in a set of quotes in that issue and attributed to Woollcott without any specific source.         Comedian W.C. Fields may have helped popularize the saying by uttering a version in the 1934 film Six of a Kind. Playing the character Sheriff “Honest John” Hoxley, he grouses to a woman who asks him why he drinks so much: “According to you, everything I like to do is either illegal, immoral or fattening.” Another early use in film came in the 1939 movie Love Affair. In that, actress Irene Dunne says to Charles Boyer: “The things we like best are either illegal, immoral or fattening.” (Thanks to my fellow writer and retro culture buff Dan Leo for the tip on Irene’s quote.)        Since the 1930s, the notion that things people like are either illegal, immoral or fattening has taken on proverbial status. It is now commonly used or varied without an attribution to Woollcott or any other source.       The juxtaposition of the words illegal and immoral was not new when Woollcott used it. As far back as the early 1800s it was common — especially in law-related contexts — to use phrases such as “illegal, immoral, or contrary to public policy” and “illegal, immoral, against public policy, or prohibited by statute.” In fact, I suspect Woollcott may have been parodying this older formulation.

THE BIKINI SCARE VERSION: “It’s not like it’s illegal, immoral or unethical. I think they’re going to find this was not the bogeyman they’re making it out to be.”        Kenneth Reichel        Mayor of Madison Lake, Minnesota        Commenting on the fears of some local townspeople who opposed allowing the “World’s Largest Bikini Parade” to be part of the town’s venerable July 28 Paddlefish Days parade. Opponents worried that having women (and a few men) marching down the street in itsy-bitsy bikinis would not be “in keeping with a family tone.” As it turned out, the event proceeded without inflicting any major moral casualties, but (alas) failed to set a record for the number of bikini-wearing marchers in a parade.

THE CANCER SCARE CONUNDRUM: “The familiar saying ‘Everything I do is either illegal, immoral, or fattening’ might be modified to include ‘or causes cancer.’ So many substances have been indicted by laboratory tests on animals that it is possible that a sort of complacency could be developing in the minds of the public.”        C. Ray Asfahl        Industrial safety expert        In his book Industrial Safety and Health Management (2009)

THE REALLY REALLY DEPRESSING VERSION: “EVERYTHING I LIKE IS EITHER ILLEGAL, IMMORAL, FATTENING, ADDICTIVE, EXPENSIVE OR IMPOSSIBLE.”        Sign posted on the WeKnowMemes.com website

THE BLACKMAIL PARADOX: “It’s neither illegal nor immoral to ask somebody for money. It’s neither illegal nor immoral to threaten to expose somebody’s theft. But it’s both illegal and immoral to ask somebody for money, threatening that if you don’t get the money, you’ll expose their theft.”        Andrew Bailey        Philosophy professor at the University of Guelph, Ontario         A logic puzzler noted in his book First Philosophy (2012). Bailey goes on to explain: “This is a paradox only if you accept the principle that if it’s not illegal (or immoral) to do X, and it’s not illegal (or immoral) to do Y, then it’s not illegal (immoral) to do X and Y. But that’s clearly a false principle.” Got it?

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“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” (Though Mae West and others put it somewhat differently.)

THE POPULAR POETIC PLATITUDE: “To err is human; to forgive, divine.”        Alexander Pope (1688-1744)        English poet         The famous saying created by line 525 of his poem An Essay on Criticism, Part II (1711)        An Essay on Criticism was Pope’s first major work. Although the title calls it an “essay” it’s actually written as a poem, in the rhyming heroic couplet format.        “To err is human; to forgive, divine” is one of three well-known quotes from the poem. The others are “a little learning is a dangerous thing” and “fools rush in where angels fear to tread.”        Pope didn’t coin the phrase “to err is human.” That’s the traditional English translation of the ancient Latin proverb “Errare humanum est.” However, by adding “to forgive, divine” he created a famous quotation that is still commonly used, adapted and spoofed today.        The usual meaning ascribed to Pope’s version is that every human can make a mistake, so we should forgive those that do, just as God is said to show his divine mercy in forgiving sinners. The line comes at the end of the stanza reprinted below, which discusses (in an amazingly obtuse and flow’ry way) how writers sometimes overly praise or harshly criticize other writers:             If Wit so much from Ign’rance undergo,           Ah let not Learning too commence its Foe!           Of old, those met Rewards who cou’d excel,           And such were Prais’d who but endeavour’d well:           Tho’ Triumphs were to Gen’rals only due,           Crowns were reserv’d to grace the Soldiers too.           Now, they who reached Parnassus’ lofty Crown,           Employ their Pains to spurn some others down;           And while Self-Love each jealous Writer rules,           Contending Wits becomes the Sport of Fools:           But still the Worst with most Regret commend,           For each Ill Author is as bad a Friend.           To what base Ends, and by what abject Ways,           Are Mortals urg’d thro' Sacred Lust of praise!           Ah ne’er so dire a Thirst of Glory boast,           Nor in the Critick let the Man be lost!           Good-Nature and Good-Sense must ever join;           To err is Humane; to Forgive, Divine        By the way, the use of the word humane above is not a typo. When An Essay on Criticism was published in 1711, that was the common spelling used for the word human.

THE MAE WEST COUNTERQUOTE: “To err is human, but it feels divine.”        Mae West (1893-1980)        American stage and movie star, playwright and pioneering Celebrity Sex Goddess        This quip is widely attributed to West. No specific source is given. However, it does sound like one of her sassy zingers and it’s mentioned in biographies about her (such as Mae West: It Ain't No Sin), so she may have actually said it.

THE MARINER’S MOTTO: “The tendency to err is human but to err on the safe side is just being intelligent.”         Commander Walter L. Taylor (1876-1952)        Quoting a naval saying in an article published in Vol. 65 of the Proceedings of the United States Naval Institute (1939)        Taylor said this was a variation of the mariners’ “General Prudential Rule.”

THE PATHETICALLY TRUE POLITICAL VARIATION: “To err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics.”        Hubert Humphrey (1911-1978)        American Democratic politician; U.S. Vice President 1965-1969 under Pres. Lyndon B. Johnson         This quote is widely attributed to Humphrey, sometimes beginning with the words “We believe that…” Documentation of when he said it is elusive. So, although it’s certainly true, it may not be a true quotation.

THE CRINGE-INDUCING CORPORATE CREDO: “To err is human, but to be paid for it is divine.”        H. James Harrington        American author, engineer, entrepreneur and “consultant in performance improvement”        In his book of advice for corporate managers, Total Improvement Management (1995)

See more uses and abuses of “To err is human…” in this previous QuoteCounterquote.com post…

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“That government is best which governs least.” (Or not all?)

THOREAU’S VERSION OF THE AXIOM ABOUT GOVERNMENT: “I heartily accept the motto, — ‘That government is best which governs least.’”        Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)        American author, philosopher, naturalist and social critic        In his essay “Civil Disobedience” (1849)         The quotation “That government is best which governs least” is often attributed to Thomas Jefferson, but without any specific source. No source is given because, as noted by Jefferson scholars and books like Not So!: Popular Myths About America From Columbus to Clinton, there is no record that Jefferson ever said it. Nor did Thomas Paine, another “Founding Father” who is sometimes wrongly credited with the quote.        Henry David Thoreau did use the line in “Civil Disobedience” (originally titled “Resistance to Civil Government”) and its appearance in that famous essay probably popularized the saying in its best known form. However, Thoreau seemed to be making it clear that he was citing an existing motto.           He may have been paraphrasing the slogan coined by American journalist and editor John Louis O’Sullivan. In 1837, O’Sullivan wrote “The best government is that which governs least” in the opening editorial for his periodical The United States Magazine and Democratic Review. He then used those words as the motto of the Review until it ceased publication in 1859.        Thoreau’s friend Ralph Waldo Emerson also penned an earlier version. In 1844, Emerson wrote in an essay titled “Politics”: “The less government we have, the better.”         Modern political conservatives are quite fond of the quote “That government is best which governs least.” But even most conservatives might not agree with what Thoreau went on to say about it in “Civil Disobedience.” He envisioned taking the axiom to its anarchic extreme, writing: “Carried out, it finally amounts to this, which also I believe, — ‘That government is best which governs not at all.’”

ROBERT HUTCHINS’ TAUTOLOGICAL COUNTERQUOTE: “That government is best which governs best.”        Robert M. Hutchins (1899-1977)        Dean of Yale Law School          Remark made in a speech in New York on January 21, 1959, upon receiving the Sidney Hillman Award for Meritorious Public Service

WILLIAM PENN’S COUNTER-COUNTERQUOTE: “It is not true that that government is best which is best administered — it is a sophism invented by tyranny to quiet the inquisitive mind; a good administration is at best but a temporary palliative to a bad government, but it does not alter its nature.”        William Penn (1644-1718)        English businessman and Quaker leader who founded the American Province of Pennsylvania        In an essay published in the Philadelphia Independent Gazetteer, January 2, 1788

THE CORPORATE ETHICS EXTRAPOLATION: “‘The government is best that governs least.’ If correct, corporations should be left to pursue their own ends unfettered by government.’”        Thomas Donaldson        Professor of Legal Studies and Business Ethics, University of Pennsylvania        In his book Corporations and Morality (1982)

A “DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN” QUOTE: “For twelve years this Nation was afflicted with hear-nothing, see-nothing, do-nothing Government...Powerful influences strive today to restore that kind of government with its doctrine that that government is best which is most indifferent.”        Franklin D. Roosevelt (1882-1945)        Democratic politician and 32nd President of the United States        In a speech on October 31, 1936, commenting on his Republican predecessors (Herbert Hoover and Calvin Coolidge) and the opponents of his “New Deal” social programs

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