God’s mysterious ways...

THE USUALLY MISQUOTED ORIGIN: “God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform; He plants his footsteps in the sea, And rides upon the storm.”         William Cowper (1731-1800)         British poet and hymn writer         From his Hymn No. 35, “Light Shining Out of Darkness”         These are the opening lyrics of the hymn, which was first published in Olney Hymns (1779). The first two lines are usually misquoted as “God moves in mysterious ways his wonders to perform” and often wrongly assumed to be a Bible quote.

THE INSURANCE COMPANY ANALOGY “Insurance companies move in mysterious ways. Much like God...only far less generous.”         The character Standish, played by actor Dan Duryea         In the 1965 movie The Flight of the Phoenix

T.S. ELIOT’S HIPPO ANALOGY “The hippopotamus’s day Is passed in sleep; at night he hunts; God works in a mysterious way The Church can feed and sleep at once.”         T.S. Eliot (1888-1965)         American-born British poet and playwright         In his poem “The Hippopotamus” (1919)

MURPHY’S REVELATION: “Life is mysterious to some, but God does not work in mysterious ways. The things which some consider as mysteries, others consider as revelations.”         Zuriel Ann Murphy         Nigerian-born UK inspirational author and speaker         In her book The Spoken Word (2013)

RACHEL’S REVELATION: “God doesn’t work in mysterious ways. He doesn’t give a shit. Everything doesn’t happen for a reason. Shit happens. Having faith doesn't make any difference. It’s just something to do while you go from point A to point B.”         John Rachel         American novelist and non-fiction book author         The inner thoughts of a character in his novel The Man Who Loved Too Much, Book 1: Archipelago (2015)

ALTERNATIVES TO THE PLATITUDE: “When people are in the middle of the darkest storm imaginable, the last thing they want to be told is that God is working everything together for good, and to trust in God's mysterious ways. It is not helpful. It is not comforting. It does not bring healing...The implication that God has predestined pain and suffering is unloving and can drive people away from the church. Making them a sandwich would be a better plan. Or cleaning their house. Or taking their children for an afternoon. Or just listening to them or sitting with them in silence.”         Natalie Toon Patton         American essayist, blogger and author         In her essay “8 Sayings Christians Use to Let Ourselves off the Hook”         Posted on the Sojo.net “faith in action” website, August 29, 2017

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“Variety’s the spice of life.”

THE POET’S FAMOUS QUOTE: “Variety’s the very spice of life That gives it all its flavour.”        William Cowper (1731-1800)        British poet        From his multi-volume poetic work The Task (1785), Book II, “The Timepiece”        The saying “Variety’s the spice of life” is usually traced to this poem by Cowper, though it may already have been proverbial when he used it. Another familiar line from this poem is “God made the country, and man made the town.” Other famous lines from Cowper’s poetry include: “God moves in a mysterious way” (Olney Hymns, 1779) and “I am monarch of all I survey” (“Verses Supposed to be Written by Alexander Selkirk”, 1782).

A PRISONER’S COUNTERQUOTE: “Variety is not the spice of life. It is the very stuff of it.”        Christopher Burney (1917–1980)        British author and former spy for British Special Operations during World War II         Burney’s conclusion in the book Solitary Confinement (1952), an account of the 18 months he spent in a Nazi prison cell during World War II.

JOHNNY CARSON’S QUIP: “If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.”         Johnny Carson (1925-2005)        American comedian and host of The Tonight Show from 1962 to 1992        Quoted in Ifferisms: An Anthology of Aphorisms That Begin with the Word "IF" (2009), one of the many entertaining books of quotations compiled by quote maven Dr. Mardy Grothe

OGDEN NASH’S VARIATION: “I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life,    particularly if he has income and she is pattable.”         Ogden Nash (1902-1971)        The poem “I Do, I Will, I Have,” included in Nash’s book Versus (1949)

BASEBALL WISDOM FROM “THE SCOOTER”: “The bunt is the spice of baseball, the unexpected weapon, the stiletto in the ribs.”        Phil “The Scooter” Rizzuto (1917-2007)        Baseball player for the New York Yankees, elected to the National Baseball Hall of Fame in 1994        Quoted in the Baseball Digest, July 1964

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Recommended reading: quotation books by Mardy Grothe...

About God’s mysterious way(s)…

THE OFTEN MISQUOTED ORIGIN: “God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform; He plants his footsteps in the sea, And rides upon the storm.”        William Cowper (1731-1800)        British poet and hymn writer        From his Hymn No. 35, “Light Shining Out of Darkness”         These are the opening lyrics of the hymn, which was first published in Olney Hymns (1779). The first two lines are usually misquoted as “God moves in mysterious ways his wonders to perform” and often wrongly assumed to be a Bible quote.

BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS COUNTERQUOTE: “God does not work in mysterious ways — it’s blindingly obvious when he’s dropping you a big hint.”        A comment I read in 2010 on a now-vanished blog         At the time, it stuck me as something that could be applied to the Gulf Oil Spill, which had recently occurred (and which still may be doing mysterious things to the ecosystem of the Gulf of Mexico).

COLBERT’S VERSION:  “God works in mysterious ways. But at least he works. He’s never on welfare in mysterious ways.”        Stephen Colbert        One of his straight-faced faux Conservative quips on the June 23, 2010 episode of The Colbert Report

ATHEIST VARIATION #1: “There are no atheists in a foxhole, and there are, apparently, no atheists in the Ku Klux Klan. God sometimes moves in mysterious ways, His lip service to exact.”          Attributed to Mignon McLaughlin (1913-1983)        American author and journalist

ATHEIST VARIATION #2: “I have yet to see a good answer for why God is all-powerful and all-knowing and all-good – or even anything close to all-powerful and all-knowing and all-good – and still isn’t perceived by everybody. Does anybody have one? (And if you say ‘Mysterious ways,’ I’m going to scream.)”          Greta Christina         Atheist blogger and author        In a post she wrote for AlterNet

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